Broken Voices
by InterestingSam
Summary: Anastasia Rollins. Amanda Rollins' kid sister, whom just happens to live with her after an incident that happened as a young child. When Anastasia goes into highschool only a year ago, the bullying she has always experienced worsens. And now, as a fifteen year old highschooler, Anastasia is starting to break. Can Amanda and the rest of the squad pick up the pieces?
1. Prologue

Anastasia Rollins. 15 years old, going on thirty. At least that's what Amanda always told her, her older sister. Anastasia is a girl of many words, some harsher than others, but a heart full of love. Much like her sister, all she wants to do is help others. Which is exactly why most of her time after school is spent at the precinct. Anastasia lives with Amanda in New York, after an incident in which involved Anastasia, broken class from a beer bottle (in which her mother broke over her head), and about three cop cars at her house. Ever since then, Amanda has had full custody over her sister, and the duo couldn't have been happier. That is, until the girl started highschool. She had always been bullied, ever since she was young. Whether it was because she didn't have a dad, or because her mother was a dead beat. Whatever it was, it was never a light beating. She always dealt with it, until highschool. Anastasia is starting to break, can Amanda and the rest of the squad pick up the pieces before it's too late?  



	2. Chapter 1

As I entered the 16th prencint after a very long day at school, all eyes turned and welcomed me with warm smiles.

"Hey, Twinkle Toes!" Fin greeted me, holding out his hand in a fist.

I bumped it with my own, "Still hate that nickname."

"Still don't care." He smirked before going back to his paper work.

"Where's my sister?" I asked as I threw my backpack next to my sisters desk.

"Liv's office." Fin replied.

I groaned, when Amanda was in Liv's office it could take at least an hour, and without knowing when she had actually went in, I haven't the faintest idea when she would come out. "What am I supposed to do then? She's my entertainment."

"You could do your homework." Carisi offered.

We exchanged a quick glance before sharing a laugh.

"Right!" I rolled my eyes, "As if."

"Or, we could go out and get something to eat? It's my lunch break." He said.

"That," I sat up quickly, "sounds amazing."

Carisi sat up off his spinny chair and grabbed his coat, sliding it on as he walked. "Well come on, we don't have all day."

I caught up to Carisi, and we walked side by side.

Carisi and I were very close. Even thought he was still kinda the new guy, we connected in a way I hadn't with the rest of the squad. Especially after Nick left. Nick and me were also very close, and I was pretty heart broken when he left. He was the one I confided in about pretty much everything. Including my self harm, which even Carisi had no idea about. Before Nick left, he left me a letter, but even now I still didn't have the heart to read it.

"How was school?" Carisi asked whilst we both got into the squad car.

"School is school." I mumbled quietly.

I had no intention of actually telling my sisters co-worker what actually happened at school that day. I still hadn't told Carisi about how bad the bullying was getting. But something in Carisi already knew. He always did.

"Right. Those girls leaving you alone yet?" He gave me a short look before looking back at the road.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I mumbled, pulling down my sleeves as reflex.

"I know you don't. But you should." Carisi said.

I sighed. "I know, I just wish Nick was here. He always...Always had time for me. Always listened to me, even when Amanda wouldn't."

"Well, I'm here." Carisi offered, "And I'm listening."

"It's the same, Carisi. I'm alright." I gave him my signature, "Shut up and stop talking because I'll start crying" smile and he left at it at that.

* * *

Later in the night, when me and Amanda got home, we both got changed and went our seperate ways. Amanda, to the television, and me to my room.

I sat on my bed, staring at the letter signed with Nick's name. I took a heavy breath and let it out slowly. I still couldn't figure out if I should read it or not, but something inside me compelled my hands to rip the paper, and the contents would make me question everything from when the day they met.

Annie, I know this is hard. In fact, it's probably even harder for me. These three years, I've felt that we have a bond that can never be broken. You're like another daughter to me, and I can't stand to leave you. Truth is, I have no choice. Your sister and I were dating. I know you probably never knew that, we kept it a secret because we didn't want to hurt you. But something tells me when you read this letter, it'll hurt you even more. It's not just about my children in California, but because IAB found out about the two of us, and after the incident it wasn't worth fighting anymore. I had to resign. It took some major contemplating, whether to leave or to not. I never wanted to hurt you, or your sister. But I know I did. I know you're still in pain. I want you to know I love you, and if you ever need me you better me call me. I want to hear from you, and how you're doing. I want to hear about your life, what's going on. I know I left you in such a fragile state, and I hope this doesn't break you. The pain I have caused was never intended. Your sister and I decided it was for the better, as I needed to spend time with my children just as much as I needed a break from this city. I hope to visit soon, and come see you and Amanda. But I need you to promise me something, to never cut again. Never hurt yourself the way you have been. You're beautiful, and I don't want you to scar yourself. Let these scars be battle wounds, don't allow them to be the ongoing war. I promise it will get better. You can talk to your sister, Olivia, Fin, even the new guy, Carisi. He seems nice enough, right? I love you Annie, don't hate me.

Sincerely,

Your big brother, Nick.

At first, I didn't notice the tears streaming down my face. I covered my mouth and let out a sob. He was dating Amanda and I never knew about it? Why would they hide that from me! Why would he leave just because of that?

I ripped the letters into shreds and threw it into the air, covering my face with my hands. He left me, and he hasn't even come back. It's been a year since i've last spoken to him. He never bothered to call me. G-d I wish I could just pick up the phone and dial his number. I wish I could spill my guts to him, and tell him everything. But even more than that, I wish I could curl up in his arms like I used to, and sob into his chest. I wish he would bandage my cuts like he used to, kiss each scar and still tell me I was important and that I should stop doing this to myself. That he was worried about me, that he cared about me just as much as my sister, and he would never leave me. But he did.

And I don't why, but I texted him that night.

And I don't know why, but he replied.

"I need you. Please. Please come back, Nick. It's just so much worst and I don't know how to stop it."

"Annie, what happened?"


	3. Chapter 2

"Annie." Amanda knocked on the door, "I'm going to sleep. You should too. You have school tomorrow."

"K." I replied, staring down at the reply from Nick."

"You okay, baby?" She asked, leaning against the door.

"Yeah, just tired. Go to bed, I'm fine." I insisted.

Amanda sighed, "Okay. Goodnight."

"Night." I replied.

As soon as she left, I texted Nick back.

"The group of girls...They did something awful. I don't know how to tell Amanda, or anyone. I can only talk to you, and you're not here." I sent the text, and the familiar bubbles that told me he was typing back popped up at the left side of my screen.

"What did they do? Sweetie I know I'm not there physically, but I'm always a phone call away. FaceTime me."

I gulped. How was I supposed to face his face? I haven't seen him in a year, what if he changed?

"Annie?" He typed.

"Okay." I replied, and clicked the video button at the top of the screen.

Soon after, Nick popped up. "Sweetie, I need you to tell me exactly what those girls did."

My bottom lip quivered, "I can't, Nicky. I don't want to get hurt again."

"Annie listen to me, I wont let them hurt you but you need to tell me what they did."

"I can't!" My voice raised, but I quickly lowered it when I remembered Amanda was trying to sleep. "You're in California. You can't protect me. You left, you waved those rights. Remember." Tears fell down my cheeks again, and I wiped them away.

"Actually, you're wrong." He responded.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm here. In New York again. I got here yesterday, hoping to surprise you. But..."

"But what?" I asked.

"I guess it's not much of a surprise anymore." He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

My voice shook slightly as I said the next words, "Can you come over, Nick? Can you come now?"

"Mija, it's two in the morning. I don't know how happy Amanda would be if I showed up at the apartment right now." He chuckled lightly.

"So meet me on the fire escape. Please. I need you."

"Okay, Annie. I'm coming." Nick hung up, and I held my breath. I was about to see the man that meant the most to me, but left me in my time of need. Butterflies twirled around my stomach, making me want to puke. I was so nervous it was ridiculous.

It took Nick probably fifteen minutes to get to my window, but he did, and I climbed out.

Before I could find the words to say, he engulfed me into a hug so tight it wouldn't have allowed me to speak anyway. "Oh, Annie. What's happened?"

I wrapped my arms around his torso tightly, and started crying once again. "They...They tried to get another guy to rape me." I sobbed.

"Oh sweetie." He mumbled into my hair, rocking me back and forth. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry I let that happen to you."

"I'm just glad that you're here now. Does Amanda know?" I asked.

"Yeah. We were going to have a big party at the precinct tomorrow once you got back from school but I'm not so sure I want you in that school tomorrow." His voice sounded mad, I hated when he was mad with a fiery passion.

"Please, don't be angry. Please. You get so upset when you're mad."

"I know. Listen to me, you're not going to school tomorrow without me there in every classroom."

I almost laughed, but I figured he was more serious than I thought. "What? Nick you don't have to do that."

"Those girls aren't getting their hands on you again. No more. I'm done playing around, you poke the bear you get mauled." He growled.

To be honest, I was still kind of scared. Because it doesn't just stop at school. Bullies follow me everywhere. Nick knew that though. I was just grateful he was trying to help me.

"So. I'm going to have a body guard now?" I giggled softly.

We pulled away from the hug and he wiped away my tears, "You bet."

A few seconds passed before he grabbed one of my arms softly and rolled up the sleeves. Many cuts, some pink, some new, some healing showed. I could see the pain on his face. "Mija, I asked you to stop this."

"I couldn't. I just wanted to feel something, Nick. I wanted to feel again." I mumbled softly. "I'm sorry i'm such a disappointment."

"No, no Mija you're not a disappointment. This just makes me so sad. I can't stand to watch you in pain." He caressed my hair and sighed. "Does Amanda know?"

"She thinks I stopped a long time ago." I shrugged, "I didn't have the heart to tell her I relapsed.

For the rest of the time he was with me, we just stared at the moon and the stars, him pointing out all the constellations like he used to, and I fell asleep soon after.

The next morning, my six'o'clock alarm woke me up, and I groaned, throwing a pillow at it. It didn't help.

"Annie!" Amanda stormed into my room "You're gonna be late for school. Again."

Groaning, I flung my other pillow at Amanda. That didn't help either.

"Okay, that's it." My sister walked over to me and flung the covers off of me and my bed. The cold air hit me and I shivered.

"Okay, okay I'm awake!" I sat up quickly and wrapped my arms around my shivering legs.

"Good. When I come back I hope to see you in your uniform." She rubbed my calf and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

I sighed mentally. I'm so sick of my uniform. The only thing it signified was school, and I hate school so much. But then, I remembered what Nick said last night. Does that mean he told Amanda?

Quickly, I got dressed and ran out the door into the kitchen so I could eat breakfast. But before I even got to the kitchen I saw Nick and Amanda talking, a sight I haven't seen in ages.

"Annie, Nick told me about last night." She said, coming to grab my hands.

I looked between the two for a quick moment. "He told you everything?"

Nick nodded. "I can't hide things from her."

"I know." I mumbled. "It's okay."

"Listen, Annie." Amanda pressed her palms to my cheeks, "We'll all talk about this tonight, but for now, you're going to school with Nick. Okay? I'll see you later at the station." She kissed my forehead, and me and Nick were on our way to school.

Most of the ride there was silence, but when we got to school, well, there was more silence. Everyone's heads turned to me and Nick when I walked in.

"Don't worry, Annie." He wrapped an arm around me. "Which is your first class?"

I bit my bottom lip. This was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Thankfully, I wasn't bullied today. But I was stared at like I was some freak. I was happy to just be at the station, with everyone I was comfortable with. Especially Nick. It meant the world that he was here right now.

As of now, I was sitting on Nick's lap playing a game on my phone while all the adults caught up with him and his life. The party was boring, but I could have cared less. While I was playing my game, I got a few texts. I took a deep breath before going to see who it was, and sure enough, it was Eve. The worst bully at my school.

"Hey slut, heard you had your boyfriend stuck to your hip today. I also heard he's like, thirty. You must be some kind of whore to be into that."

Tears sprung to my eyes. I jammed Nick in the stomach and handed him my phone.

As soon as he read the text, a look of anger spread across his face very quickly. He typed something into the phone, and handed it back to me.

"This is the police, if you harass Anastasia any longer, we will charge you with Cyber Bullying of a minor."

I bit my bottom lip. I was happy he was trying to help. But I don't think he realizes just how broken I really am. Sometimes it's hard for me to speak out, because any time I do my voice breaks into pieces, and I feel like just like my heart has shattered, my voice has shattered too.


	4. Chapter 3

That night when the party was over I don't think I've ever had that much attention in, well, forever. The entire squad must have hugged me fifteen times each, and once we got home Nick and Amanda hugged me at least thirty times each. But it was nice when we got home. We all sat on the couch and watched a scary movie, but when it ended, it wasn't so nice.

"Annie, we need to talk." Amanda said.

I internally groaned, "Okay."

"Listen, I know how hard it is to talk about sexual assault honey. But I need you to tell me who raped you." Amanda said softly.

"I wasn't raped." I said harshly.

"Are you sure about that, Mija? You were in hysterics last night." Nick said, placing his hand on my leg.

I shrugged it off, wincing in pain from the bruising on my legs. "I would know if someone forced me to have sex with them!"

"Okay, okay. We just need to ask." Amanda sighed.

"No. It's not okay! I said no, and you kept going." I yelled, jumping to my feet. "It's not fair. Why is everyone all of a sudden caring about me when they couldn't before!?"

"What are you talking about, Annie?" Amanda stood up and looked me straight in the eye. "I cared about you when Nick left just as much as I did when he was here."

I scoffed, "You don't know anything. You don't know what goes on at school, because no one understands. It's worst. So much worst."

"Sweetie tell me what happened."

"Okay. Fine. I was raped! Are you happy now." I screamed, and ran into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

No one came to get me from my room, so I took this as an opportunity to take out my blades. I went into my bathroom and locked the door, staring at the blue box in the open linen box I blinked back tears. I reached up to the box and pulled it down.

Taking out a blade, I cut the deepest I ever had. Blood went everywhere, I was bleeding so much. "M-Mandy!" I screamed.

"Nick!" I cried.

I could hear them storm into my bedroom, "I'm in here!" I sobbed.

"Mija unlock the door." Nick yelled.

"I can't. I can't move my hands. It hurts too much." I cried out in pain.

"Back away from the door, I'm gonna break it down." He yelled to me.

Scooting backwards up against the tub, I rested my head against the wall. Next thing I knew, the door was torn off the hinges and Amanda and Nick were both at my side.

Nick grabbed a cloth while Amanda held my head in her lap. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. We're gonna call an ambulance."

"I...I don't wanna die mommy." I mumbled softly, and that's the last thing I remember before everything went black.

* * *

Slowly, I came to. But I couldn't open my eyes. The lights were just too bright.

"She's sustained many vaginal tears and lesions. She has a lot of bruising up and down her inner thighs and abdomen. We believe she was raped several times. Not just once." I heard some woman say.

"My baby." I heard Amanda sob. "When will she wake up?"

"She should be awake any second now." The woman's voice sounded again. "I'll go ahead and give you both some time with her."

I heard heals click against the floor, and a door shut.

Once the woman left, who I assumed must have been a doctor, my eyes peeled open. "Mandy?"

"Oh, Annie. I'm here." She caressed my hair. "Are you feeling okay?"

I shook my head. "My wrists hurt."

"I know baby, I know." She kissed my forehead. "I'll never let you die on me. Ever. Please don't do this again."

Tears streamed down my face. "I don't think I can promise that."

Nick and Amanda both shared a glance between each other. Neither said a word, there was nothing to say.

"Annie, I think the squad wants to come see you. Are you up for that?" Nick asked gently.

I nodded. "Yeah. Can they not all come in though? Maybe just a few at a time."

"Of course, baby." Amanda and Nick left the room, and soon enough Carisi entered the room.

"Hey, Annie." He smiled and came to my bed side.

"Hi." I smiled back. "You can sit down if you want."

He sat down on the edge of my bed and grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I think you know the answer to that." I mumbled.

He pursed his lips and inhaled heavily. "We don't have to talk about it. How about a lighter topic?"

If anyone was going to let this slide this easily, it was gonna be Sonny.

"How did the baby shower with your sister go?" I asked.

"Good. Really good, I hate her boyfriend but I must say I do love baby clothes." He chuckled.

I laughed too. "Baby clothes are very cute."

Then, another head popped into the room. Liv. "Sonny, I'm kicking you out now."

Carisi knelt over and kissed my head. "Feel better, Annie."

Once he left, Liv stepped in and sat on my bed. "I'm not gonna ask you how you're feeling because something tells me I already know."

I smiled at her. "Yeah. I think you do."

She patted my leg. "But I do need to ask you, if you'd be willing to see a therapist. I know it's soon. I know, but your sister thinks it's a good idea."

My eyes reverted down to my fumbling thumbs. "I don't want to see a shrink, Liv."

"Why not?" She asked.

"I'm not crazy." My eyes snapped up to her. "I'm not crazy, Liv."

"Okay, okay. We don't have to do this now. Do you want me to send in Fin?"

"Please." I sighed.

After Fin left, I was so utterly exhausted. So when Amanda came and and slid in bed next to me, I curled up next to her and fell asleep.

* * *

Hey everyone who may be reading! I hope you like the fanfic so far. Don't worry, it will get more interesting and you'll see more Amanda and Annie time, and some more time with the rest of the squad.

User Response: Thank you, Grace Anne Benson! I certainly hope it will be. :)


	5. Chapter 4

Thankfully, I was released from the hospital with very strict instructions towards Amanda to lock away all of my blades, kitchen knives, and anything sharp I could use to self harm again. You almost have to laugh, because it's the same thing as a crack addict. No matter how many times you flush down the drug, there's always another way to feed the addiction.

Nick, being the great guy he was, went home to bring me a sweater and black leggings. I asked him not to, as I smelled horrid from not showering for three days because I refused to allow the nurses to bathe me. Amanda offered, but the doctor said he couldn't trust I wouldn't do something to hurt myself with just my sister. If my wrists didn't hurt so much, I would have slugged him one. But of course, that's Karma for hurting my sister so much.

Amanda helped my into the new clothes and we all left the hospital. When we got in the car, Amanda looked back at me in the rear view mirror. "Do you wanna go to starbucks, Annie?"

"I need to take a hot bath. I'm begging you." I looked back at her, running a hand through my greasy hair. I cringed.

"I wouldn't argue, Amanda." Nick laughed.

"Hey!" I crossed my arms. "No need to make it so obvious I smell so bad! It's not my fault the doctors an asshole. I'm not letting a stranger bathe me. No thanks!"

I had nerve damage in both wrists. They were both severly bruised, and I wouldn't be able to use my hands for awhile. Which is why I can't bathe myself for the next week or more.

"Hey, language." Amanda warned. "But yeah, he is an ass."

I smiled to myself and let my eyes wander out of the window. My eyes scanned the tall buildings of New York City.

* * *

Once we got home, Amanda got me into the hot bathtub and I couldn't have been happier.

"You know, I haven't given you a bath since you were what? Eight?" Amanda laughed. "Never thought I'd do this again.

"Yeah. Me neither." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not exactly extatic about it."

Amanda shrugged. "I don't really care. You're my baby sister, nothing I havent seen before."

I groaned. "Mandy, come on."

She laughed and poured some shampoo into my hair. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry I'm such an embarassing sister."

"I'm not accepting it." I said defiantly.

She massaged it into my hair, roughly. I winced. "No wonder you haven't done this since I was eight, you're never gentle!"

"Sorry." She cringed and tried to soften up. Tried is the key word in that sentence.

Soon enough, I was grateful that that ordeal was over. I was sitting on the couch next to Nick while Amanda made dinner.

"Annie. I need to talk to you." Nick said suddenly.

I looked up at him. "What?"

"Liv mentioned that she asked you about therapy. She said you flat out refused, why?" He asked softly.

I bit my bottom lip. "I don't want to go to someone that's only there because we're paying them to be. Therapists don't care, they're just there to listen."

"That's not true, Annie. I promise you, if they didn't care, they wouldn't be what they are." Nick commented.

"I promise Nick, if I ever have thoughts to self harm, or if anything is going on at school. I swear, I will talk to you and Manda about it." I looked him dead in the eyes, hoping he would just take it as it was.

He pursed his lips and nodded. "Okay. Pinky promise?" He lifted his pinky and connected mine with his.

"Sure. Looks like you did it for me." I laughed.

"Not like it was a question anyway." He kissed my head and went back to the movie we were watching.

I snuggled up against his chest. "You know, I really am sorry."

"For what, Mija?"

"For breaking our promise." I looked up at him and then looked down at my feet.

 _The first time I ever cut was at Munch's parting party. In the bathroom of Olivia's apartment. They were little scratches on my stomach, but they were there. And I knew this was going to be so much more than just a few scratches._

 _Nick knocked on the door at that moment, "Annie. You okay in there?"_

 _"Y-Yeah..." I wiped away my tears. "I'm fine."_

 _"Can I come in?" He asked._

 _"No!" I gasped lightly, quickly grabbing a wad of tissues, hurriedly trying to dry up the blood._

 _Of course he wouldn't listen, and came in anyway. His eyes widened. "Anastasia Phoebe Rollins!" He gasped, grabbing onto the tissue wad and putting pressure down on it, he shut the door quickly._

 _"Annie, what is this?" He asked, his eyes glazed over._

 _"I'm sorry." I cried, "I just can't do it anymore. School is awful. The pain is too much."_

 _Nick wrapped his free arm around me, and I wrapped my arms around him. "Sweetie, I'm not upset with you. But you can't do this, ever again. I am always here, Mija. Always. Please promise you wont do it again. Please."_

 _"I promise." I lied._

Nick shook his head. "Don't be sorry, Annie. I'm not upset."

"But I am." I mumbled. "I...Sometimes I do want to die. But...Sometimes I want to stay so I don't hurt you and Amanda. But I don't know how to live anymore, Nick. I just don't."

"I'll teach you." He whispered. "We'll learn how to live, together. We'll get through this, Anastasia. All three of us."

"Are you gonna stay here, Nick?" I sniffled.

He nodded. "Me and your sister, we're something special. And I don't plan on leaving to California again. Not for a long time."

I hugged him tight and allowed tears to drip from my eyes. "Thank you."

"I love you both, and I would never, ever want something bad to happen to either of you and I'm going to be here for you when you're in your darkest times. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Amanda tucked me into bed that night, and we lied next to each other for awhile. "You know I love you right?" She asked.

I nodded. "Of course I do, why would you ask that."

She bit her lip. "Because, sometimes I think you forget."

"I never forget, Amanda. I love you too." I smiled at her.

She ran a hand through my hair. "I feel like we never have sister time anymore."

I laughed. "We live with each other, we have sister time everyday."

"No, you know what I mean. Like when we were younger, I would take you to the beach. I miss doing that." She said.

I nodded. "I do too, Mandy."

"I'm thinking, once your hands aren't so floppy," She picked up a hand and waved it back and forth, making me laugh. "that we can go to the beach."

"Okay." I said, still laughing. "Sounds good, Amanda."

She sat up to leave, but I reached my arm out. "Amanda, wait."

"Yeah?" She turned to look at me.

"Can...you sleep with me tonight?" I asked, my voice more so innocent than I expected.

She smiled. "Of course I can, let me just go tell Nick."

She left, and came back. Then, she pulled back my covers and slid into the bed. I kissed her cheek, "Thanks, Mandy."

"No problem, Anne. Go to sleep."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, pumpkin."


	6. Chapter 5

Once my hands finally regained use, I had to go back to school which I was totally not looking forward. But of course, the day came, and me and Nick arrived at the three story building.

"Do I have to go?" I groaned.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Unfortunately, yes."

"So, let's go I guess." I said, walked up to the building.

When we stepped into the building, all eyes turned to look at me. But only one looked friendly, which confused me emmensly. A girl in my grade, of the name Aria Caswell. We've never spoken, but she's also never been nasty to me so that's a plus.

All of a sudden she walks over to the two of us, I grip Nick's arm, my fingers digging into his bicep. Nick slowly stepped forward, making Aria look up to him but then back at me.

"Hey, Anastasia." She smiled.

"Hi..." I mumbled, my eyebrows furrowing.

"I know we never speak, like, ever. But, Eve was talking to me, and she was saying some nasty stuff. About, him," she motioned to Nick, "and you. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of Eve's shit. She does it to everyone she's jealous of."

"Jealous?" I scoffed. "Right, as if."

"No, really. Eve was adopted when she was five, and her parents don't treat her too well. She's always complaing to me about how you have the best life. A sister that actually loves her, and another second family to love you too. I know she treats you like crap, but the truth is she's just really hurt deep inside." She crossed her arms and sighed.

"Is that, all?" I asked.

"No. It's not why I came," she chuckled. "I came because I wanted to ask if I could come over some time? Maybe we can study together? I know, like I said, we never speak. I'm really shy, and I don't really speak to anyone, It's not you."

Aria wasn't lying either, I've never seen her with anyone other than Eve. Eve talks to her because they have been family friends since they were young, which was a known fact. Aria and Eve have the wealthiest parents in the school, and their fathers run a company together. Caswell&Katz inc. which is a well known shoe company in America, most of Europe and most recently, Asia.

Nick looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

I looked at him, and then back at Aria. "Sure. When do you want to come?"

She grinned from ear to ear, "I don't know. Whenever. I'm free tomorrow straight after school."

"Me too." I returned the grin.

Truth is, I'm free everyday after school but she didn't need to know that.

"Okay, tomorrow's a plan. See you then, Anastasia. See you...Um..." She looked at Nick for awhile before raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nick's my sisters boyfriend. You can just call him Nick." I responded to the silent question.

She nodded. "Right. Nick. See you then."

And then she walked off.

"She seems nice." Nick said, as we walked to my locker.

"We're in every class since pretty much kindergarten. I'm starting to wonder if the school is trying to get us to be friends." Opening the lock on the purple metal cage, I put my hand in and grabbed my English book.

"Are you excited to have her come over?" He asked.

I nodded. "I haven't had friends over in...a long time."

"I'm glad for this then. You're sister wont believe it."

* * *

And she didn't.

"You're joking, right? Aria Caswell?" Amanda's eyes widened like sausers in the dark skies of space.

I nodded as I stuffed my face with spaghetti.

"But. She's. So..."

"Rich?" I offered.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"She doesn't exactly have many friends either. I think we're both kinda lonely, looking for someone to help us get ourselves straightened out. Y'know?" I looked up at her before taking another bite.

Amand grinned, "This is good, Annie. Amazing, actually. It would be nice to have someone be a guest other than the squad."

I sighed, finishing my plate. "Agreed. Now I'm going to go shower, finally, by myself."

Amanda laughed, gathering the plates from the three of us. "Go do that."

In the shower, the only thing I could think of was Aria coming to my house. I coudn't believe it. Aria Caswell, of all people. In fact I was so excited I kinda did a happy dance and found myself slipping to the hard floor of the bathtub, making a loud thud.

I groaned, grabbing my thigh which was throbbing. "Owww."

Suddenly the bathroom door opened and two sets of footsteps ran into the room. "Annie?" Nick said.

"I'm fine." I groaned. "Just slipped. Nothing's broken."

"You scared us." Amanda said, seeming to be out of breath.

"I'm sorry." I stood up and turned off the water. "I'm getting out so that you can worry and check for injury, okay?"

"I don't do that." She scoffed.

I could just tell Nick was rolling his eyes, then I heard a slap of the skin and Nick seethed. "Ow!"

"Don't roll your eyes at me." Amanda said.

I laughed internally. "Okay can you guys leave, I have to get out."

I heard both of them leave, and I was left to myself once again.

After I got dressed into a black long sleeved shirt, and a pair of green shorts, Amanda immediately came to me. She looked over me for a good five minutes to make sure I hadn't done anything to myself, which was the instruction she was given by the doctor so there was nothing I could do. After that was over, I heard my iPhone buzz. I picked it up and saw that an Unknown Number texted me.

"Hey! Its Aria I got ur number from ur sister. I called the house phone but she said u were in the shower."

I texted back. "Oh hey. Yeah sorry. What's up?"

"im really happy im coming over tomorrow cuz i havent been to anyones house in like 2 yrs prob."

I smiled. "I'm excited too! I haven't, well, haven't had many friends in the past. It's nice to have someone come over."

"same here! my mom is making me go to bed but ill see you tmr at school rite?"

"Yep! See you then." My smile increased into a grin. My cheeks started to hurt.

"Are you okay, Annie?" Nick asked, walking out of the kitchen but stopping to stare at me.

I squealed and showed him my phone.

He walked over, read the texts, and shoveled me into a big hug. "I'm so happy for you, Anastasia Phoebe Rollins."

"Me too!"


	7. Chapter 6

I was so excited for Aria to come over, I was totally panicking at home.

"Do we have all the snacks ready?" I asked Amanda about a thousand times, or even

"What about the drinks?"

Until finally, Amanda grabbed my shoulders and shook me back and forth. "Calm down."

I sighed and went to sit on the couch, my leg bouncing up and down.

Until finally, the doorbell rang. I ran to the door, took a deep breath, and swung the door open wide, revealing Aria in black skinny jeans and a blue tshirt. I've never actually seen her in normal clothes before, considering we wear uniforms.

"Hey!" She smiled and walked inside. "Nice place."

"Oh, thanks, I guess." I smiled back at her.

She sighed and took a deep breath. "Can I be honest with you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded. "Sure."

"I'm kinda terrified right now."

We both just kinda stared at each other before laughing.

"Me too." I said, my laughs dying down.

Amanda came out and looked at Aria, "Hey, honey. I'm Anastasia's sister."

Aria shook Amanda's hand and smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Rollins."

"Oh no, none of that. I'm Amanda." She laughed. "Ms. Rollins makes me feel old."

I smiled at Amanda and looked back at Aria, "Do you wanna come to my room?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

I lead her into my bedroom and we sat on my bed.

"I've never really had guests my age. What do people do when they go to each others houses?" I asked.

"Don't ask me. Whenever friends came over, well, we stayed on our phones most of the time." She sighed. "It was never really all that fun."

"Do you like TV?" I offered.

"Duh." She scoffed.

So, to the television we went.

* * *

"Who does she think she is!" Aria gasped, throwing a pillow at the tv.

We were in the middle of a great movie, lets just say that.

"I know." I groaned. "I mean, how can she just judge him like that!"

"She's such a...Ugh!" Aria groaned.

Then, the front door opened to reveal Nick holding grocery bags. He furrowed his eyebrows and took in the sight.

Me and Aria were on the couch in pajamas (I let her borrow some), eating icecream and popcorn while drinking coke. We turned off all the lights and we were curled up in the blankets.

Nick flicked the light switch on.

I blocked my eyes and groaned, "Hey. Why'd you do that."

"It's almost dark, I can't see anything." He laughed, bringing the bags into the kitchen.

My eyes widened and I looked to the clock. Seven PM already? Aria sighed. "Maybe I can ask my mom if I can sleep over!"

I nodded my head excitedly. "Nick, can Aria sleep over!?"

"Sure." He smiled at me, winking his left eye.

I winked back and looked at Aria whom was texting her mom.

"She said I can!" She grinned.

"This is so cool." I grinned back. "I've never had a sleep over before."

"Me either." Aria laughed.

"Where's Amanda?" Nick asked.

"She's in the bath." I replied.

"What do you girls want for dinner?" He asked, making his way to the master bathroom.

I shrugged and looked at Aria, "Any diet restrictions?"

She shook her head. "I'm not allergic to anything."

"Okay, anything that interests you right now?" I asked.

She stood up and ran over to the fridge. "Can I look at your stuff?"

I nodded. "Sure."

She came back to me with dino nuggets and tater tots.

Nick laughed. "You could have the fanciest thing you wanted, cause you're a guest. And you choose nuggets and tater tots?"

Araia shrugged. "It's a balanced meal."

Nick laughed once again, "I'll put the stuff in the oven in a sec."

Me and Aria went back to our movie to make fun of the actors some more, because that seemed to be very entertating to the two of us.

* * *

The four of us sat down, eating the frozen meal. Me and Aria found ourselves fighting each other with our chicken molded t-rex's. Nick came over with his stegosarus and attacked us both, stealing both nuggests from our hands. I scoffed, "That's cheating."

"I've never been a fair player." He said, mouth full of food."

Aria and I laughed.

That night, me and Aria lied awake in my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Today was the best day of my life." Aria said.

"Seriously?" I looked at her.

"Believe it or not, money doesn't make happiness." She smiled slightly, a tear dripping down from her eyes. "My dad loses himself at the bottom of a bottle most nights. My mom sleeps with different men every night. And me? I lock myself in my room and wait for my dad to stop banging on my door."

My eyes widened, I wasn't sure where this was coming from. But I wrapped her in a hug anyway.

"I'm so sorry, Aria." I said. I wasn't really sure what to say.

Aria started sobbing. "You're so lucky. To have Nick and Amanda. They love you so much, y'know?"

I nodded. "I know."

"You're lucky to have two people that love you." She sniffled, "My mom didn't say I could sleep over. She didn't answer my text. I think she was at her boyfriends house."

"Does your dad ever...Do anything, that makes you uncomfortable?" I asked. "My sister and Nick are detectives for the Special Victims Unit. We can help you if you're in trouble."

She looked at me, her blue eyes so dreary and lost. "I don't say no. He wouldn't be arrested anyway."

* * *

Wasn't expecting that, right? So what do you guys think will happen? Will Aria tell Amanda and Nick?


	8. Chapter 7

My eyes widened once again. A few things were raking my mind. Why is Aria disclosing this to me, of all people? Why didn't she say anything sooner?

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my face. "Do you want to tell my sister?"

"It doesn't matter." Aria rolled over so I could no longer see her face.

"It does though. I know first hand how it feels to be raped, and I made the mistake of never disclosing to Amanda what happened. I..." I bit my bottom lip, debating whether I should disclose to her about my suicide attempt.

"You...what?" She turned around, looking me in the eyes.

"I tried to kill myself because the pain got so bad." I replied. "It doesn't help to keep everything in, Aria. It just hurts you even more."

"You tried to kill yourself?" Her voice cracked.

I nodded. "It's why I wasn't in school for so long. I can't feel anything in my wrists or hands anymore, I have permenant nerve damage because I cut so deep. For awhile I couldn't even use my hands, I had to regain use of them."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"Don't be." I smiled. "I just don't want that to happen to you. You deserve better. That's why I...I really want you to tell my sister."

She bit her bottom lip. "If I do, do I have to go back home?"

"If he's hurting you," I said. "my sister would never allow you to go back to that home."

"I'm scared." Tears started rolling down her face once more.

I stepped off my bed. "You don't have to be anymore, Aria."

She stepped off also. "I'll tell your sister. But only if she'll keep me safe."

I nodded. "She will. I promise."

We left my room, and I lead her to Amanda's room. I knocked on the door, and Amanda's voice sounded "Come in!"

I creaked the door open. The shower was on, and Amanda was in her pajamas watching tv. "Are you guys okay?"

Wrapping an arm around Aria, I shook my head 'no'. "Aria needs help, Mandy."

Amanda furrowed her eyebrows tightly.

Amanda handed Aria a mug of hot chocolate, Aria was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. I was sitting on Nick's lap, Amanda was sitting next to Aria, holding her hand that wasn't wrapped around the blue mug.

"How long as your father been sexually assaulting you, Aria?" Amanda asked softly.

"Ever since I can remember." She looked at her feet, a tear dripped down her face. "I don't really remember a time that he wasn't doing something to me or mom."

Amanda rubbed her arm. "When was the last time he raped you?"

"Today. This morning, before school." She then started crying, Amanda hugged her.

"Would you be willing to do a rape kit?" She asked.

Aria shrugged. "What is it?"

"It's where doctors try to find evidence of any DNA on you, so they can put the bad people in jail." I explained.

Aria looked at me. "Does it hurt?"

"Some things are uncomfortable." Amanda nodded. "But I'll be there with you, every step of the way. We can get your dad in jail. We can put you in a safe place, where no one will ever hurt you again."

"I'll do it." Aria nodded, wiping her tears away. "But I don't want to live with a stranger."

"Do you have any family?" Nick asked.

She shook her head. "My parents are both only children. Their parents are dead. I have no one."

Me, Amanda, and Nick shared a look before I opened my mouth. "What if Aria stayed with us?"

Aria looked up at me. Her expression perking up.

"I think we could do something about that." Amanda nodded. "But first thing in the morning, we'll need to take your statement, and we'll need to get a rape kit done."

Aria nodded, pulling away from Amanda's embrace. "Okay. Do you want to go to sleep now, Anastasia?"

"Sure. Let's go back to bed." I offered, sitting up from Nick's lap.

We went back to bed, and fell asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	9. Chapter 8

Early that morning, Aria, me, Nick, and Amanda all rode to the hospital. As of now, me and Nick were waiting for Aria and Amanda to come out from her rape kit, I was about to fall asleep on Nick's shoulder when Olivia came into the hospital. The cold of the December wind had made her cheeks and nose rosie.

"Who's the vic?" She looked at Nick.

"Aria Caswell." I responded.

Her eyes widened. "Like, from Caswell&Katz inc?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm assuming you're friends." Olivia said, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

I nodded once again. "Her and Amanda are in the examination room. I think Amanda wants you to take her statement."

"Right. That makes sense." Olivia sighed, sitting next to me. "How are you holding up, Annie?"

"I'm okay." I smiled. "This isn't about me right now anyway."

Nick stood up, stretching out. "I'm gonna go get some coffee, do you want some Liv?"

"No thanks." She smiled at him.

"You, Annie?"

I nodded. "That would be nice. You know how I like it."

So he left, leaving me and Olivia to our lonesome.

Olivia got closer to me, bringing her mouth to my ear. "If you wanted, we could press charges against the man that raped you."

My eyes filled with tears, I pushed them back. "No. It's too late for that, Liv. It's been almost a month."

"It's never too late, Anastasia." She held my hand in hers. "It's not too late to put that bastard in jail."

"You don't understand." I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" Olivia asked patiently.

"He's dead." I said, my jaw trembling. "I...Hit him over the head with a rock. It said on the news he died when in a comma. He's dead, Olivia. And I killed him."

"Oh sweetie, It's not your fault." She wrapped her arms around me.

"He deserved it. I'm not broken up that he's dead." I said, the sentence I spoke sounded more disgusting than I inteded it to, but what could I do. It was the truth.

"And that's okay, Annie. You don't have to be sad." Olivia replied.

"You guys okay there?"

I jumped, my heart racing. I turned to see Amanda and Aria standing next to each other. "Yeah. We're fine."

"Hi sweetie." Olivia smiled at Aria. "I'm Olivia Benson, I work with Amanda at the Special Victims Unit."

"I know, Anasatasia told me about you last night." She said.

"I'm going to be taking your statement today. Is that okay, Aria?" Olivia asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. It's okay."

"Come, let's go somewhere more private." Olivia stood up, "Have you gotten the chance to eat anything today?"

Aria shook her head. "I didn't have an appetite this morning."

"Well, you must be starving by now." Olivia said, her voice getting quitter and quitter every time she took another step.

"You sure it was nothing, Annie?" Amanda asked me, breaking me from my trance.

"I'm sure, Mandy." I smiled.

Then, Nick came back with my coffee.

"Can I have a sip?" Amanda asked, taking the coffee in her hands.

I nodded.

She took two before handing it back to me.

Smirking at me, then at the cup, then back at me, I rolled my eyes. I took two sips before handing it back to her.

She wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close.

"Amanda, where will Aria stay?" I asked.

"Olivia called C.P.S. and told them she would be able to house Aria for her own safety, and they agreed. I tried, but I'm too close to the case."

I took a deep breath, and nodded.

* * *

That night, Aria had called me telling me that she was settled into Olivia's guest bedroom. She had eaten a big dinner, and she had gone to bed at nine. Me, on the other hand? I was still awake. Me and Amanda were in the living room listening to music. I was doing homework, and she was working out. Usually I worked out with her too, but I had quite a bit of schoolwork to catch up on still. As of now I was sitting on her feet, reading my history book, while she did sit ups.

"Fifty." She puffed, pushing on my back lightly so I would get off of her feet.

I did.

She stood up, taking out her pony and re-adjusting her sports bra. "I'm gonna go shower, wanna keep me company?"

"Yeah." I nodded, putting my book back on the ground. "I'd so much rather be doing something other than doing homework."

Amanda laughed, walking to her room. I followed.

After her shower, she got dressed for bed. I bit my bottom lip, scratching my arm. "Mandy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?" She looked at me as she brushed her hair.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked.

Munch wanted to meet with Nick, so he wouldn't be back until tomorrow. So I knew tonight was a good oppurtunity to ask.

"Of course you can. Go lie in bed, I'll be there soon." She smiled.

I ran into her bed, untucked the comfortor and slid into it. Her bed was much more comfortable than mine.

It didn't take long for me to get comfortable and shut my eyes. When Amanda came out from the bathroom, she came into bed with me and hugged me tight, kissing my forehead.

"Anastasia, I'm glad I didn't lose you. Because I don't know what I would do if I couldn't hold you in my arms again." She whispered, trying not to wake me, but I was already awake.

I rolled over, my eyes open now. "I'm not leaving you. Just promise not to leave me, okay?"

She smiled lightly, "I won't. I promise."

That night we fell asleep with my head on her chest, and her arms wrapped around me. Something we haven't done in a very, very long time.

* * *

Thank you, everyone, for the feed back! It makes me want to update more, so keep commenting! :) Plus, if there's anything you want to see more of, feel free to request anything.

Thanks,

Sam.


	10. Chapter 9

That next day, we found out that Nick actually had to go home to L.A. to be with Zara. Poor thing was having sore throats all of that week, and had to get her tonsils taken out. Which was fine by me, Nick should be with his daughter in her time of need. So Amanda drove me to school that day, and it was the first day I didn't have any type of safety with me, because Amanda had to go to work. So, when I walked through the doors of the school, Aria met me and she didn't leave my side the entire day, G-d bless her.

During lunch we sat together, alone, but together. Talking about the dumbest things, our favorite colors, our favorite TV shows, things like that.

"Okay, school lunch has never been good, but in highschool it's even worst." I complained, pushing the tray away from me, pretending to gag.

Aria laughed. "Olivia packed my lunch today, I haven't had that in a really long time. It was nice actually."

"How's living with Olivia?" I raised my eyebrows. "I stayed at her house once when Amanda went to Georgia once, but other than that I don't think I've ever stayed with her long term."

Aria smiled at the thought of Olivia's home. "It's really nice. She's, really nice. Yesterday I was scared to be alone, so she stayed with me wherever I went. When I took a shower, she sat in the room and worked on some paper work, and then when I went to bed she stayed while I fell asleep."

I smiled. "Olivia's a really great woman."

She nodded in agreemant. "I wish I could stay with her, forever."

"I'm sure she would love that." I said, "She's only had Noah since now. I think she would enjoy having a daughter..."

My thoughts went to the night I stayed at her house, I asked her why she never had biological children. She had told me she never had the time, but she always wanted a daughter, that I was the mirror image of what she would want. It made me happy that someone other than Amanda and Nick wanted me back then.

"Anastasia Rollins to the front office, Anastasia Rollins to the front office." The speakers in the lunch room sounded.

Aria furrowed her eyebrows, and I shrugged my shoulders in confusion.

"Want me to come?" She offered.

I nodded.

So, side by side we walked to the other part of the school. The office was right next to the entrance, so we walked for awhile before actually reaching it as the lunch room was on the complete other side.

I walked up to the desk lady, "You called for me?"

She nodded towards the back where all the people sit when you're in trouble. My heart sank. I turned around, and saw Carisi and Olivia sitting on the black chairs.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's Amanda." Carisi said first.

"What about her?" My heart started to pound, it got so loud I thought everyone would hear it. Nobody did.

"Annie," Olivia took a deep breath, "Amanda got into a car accident."

"She's okay, right?" I asked, my eyes filling with tears.

"She's at the hospital, in surgery. We're not sure what's going to happen, she was very damaged when they found her." Olivia said softly.

Suddenly, the tears spilled over to my cheeks. I sobbed, and sobbed. Olivia wrapped me in a hug, I continued to sob into her chest. "No, it's not fair! She promised not to leave me, Olivia. She promsied she wouldn't leave me!"

"I know baby, I know. It's okay. It's okay. Shhhh." She cooed.

Suddenly, I felt my vision go blurry, then black, and I couldn't hear or see anything.

* * *

When I woke up again, I coughed. My lungs felt as if they were filled with water, even though they definitely weren't.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?" I mumbled.

"No, sweetie. You fainted." Carisi replied.

I rolled my eyes, my eyes beginning to get wet again. I sat up, wiping away the tears. "Can I go see her? Please?"

Olivia helped me up, Carisi wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and we headed to the car. Aria waved goodbye, and I waved back, tears slipping down my face.

* * *

When we got to the hospital, which was an hour later, as the traffic was worst than ever, Amanda was out of surgery and awake.

"Only one at a time." The doctor said, before leaving.

"You go, Annie." Olivia rubbed my back, "Go see your sister."

She didn't have to tell me twice before I sprinted to the room. "Mandy?"

"Annie." Her voice was raspy, and hoarse.

I started sobbing again, I ran to her bedside. "Are you okay?"

"Baby, don't cry." She mumbled, her own eyes filling with tears.

"I was so scared you would leave me." I wiped my tears.

Amanda scootched over, wincing in pain. "Come here, sweet girl."

I got into the bed with my sister, wrapping my arms around her softly.

"I'm never leaving you, do you hear me?" She said, her tears spilling over her eyes.

"Don't cry, Amanda." I mumbled, wiping away her tears for her, as both of her arms had been broken in the crash.

She bit down hard on her bottom lip. "I was scared I was leaving you too, Annie. I was so scared I was going to die. I was scared I wouldn't be able to get to tell you how much I loved you."

I sniffled, rubbing my eyes harshly.

"I was scared about where you would go. What you would do without me." She sobbed. "What I would do without you."

"Please stop." My voice was highpitched and squeeky, something that only happened when I cried. "You didn't die. You're okay. You didn't go any where, and I wont have to live without you."

"I wish I could hug you." Amanda rolled her eyes. "Now my arms don't work."

I sat up slowly. "And I'm going to be right beside you. Like you were with me. I'll do anything you need."

"Can you start by tying up my hair?" She smiled at me softly.

I grabbed my extra pony off of my wrist, she lifted her head off of her pillow just enough so I could tie it up for her.

"Don't leave?" Amanda said.

"Not a chance, Mandy." I said.

She closed her eyes.

I played with her hair as she fell asleep. "There's not a chance I'm leaving you again."

That night, I was ripped away from my sister by Carisi. He kept telling me I needed to eat, I needed to sleep. But I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to help Amanda eat, and I wanted to be there while she slept so nothing bad could happen. But he coaxed me enough, and I ended up going home with him with Amanda's harsh scolding that I needed to be healthy so I could take care of her when she got out of that damned place. Her words, not mine.

So, I put on my sisters NYPD sweat shirt, and my black leggings as soon as I got to Carisi's apartment. He ordered chinese food and we lied back on the couch to watch a movie.

"Did you tell Nick?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, he asked if he needed to come down and I told him not to."

"Good." I mumbled. "He needs to be with Zara, for now, Amanda has us."

Suddenly, Carisi's phone buzzed. He unlocked it and looked at the text. "It's Liv. She said that she'll be staying with you and your sister when she gets out of the hospital."

"Is she with her?" I asked.

He typed something into his phone, and with another bing he replied, "Yep."

"Good." I breathed a sigh of relief.


	11. Chapter 10

Finally, after a week of living with Carisi, (yes, don't worry, I'm still alive) I was finally able to go with Olivia to the hospital to see Amanda. We were taking her home and I was extatic. We put her into a wheelchair, bundeled her in blankets, and into the car she went.

"Excited to come home?" I grinned.

She laughed. "I haven't showered in a week. You'd bet I'm excited."

Olivia cringed, but continuted on to the road.

"We're so much alike." I also laughed.

"It's why I didn't force you into the bath at the hospital," Amanda said. "I wouldn't let those nurses bathe me either."

"It's weird." I shuttered at the thought. "They might be nurses and see all of that all the time. But."

"Yeah." Amanda nodded, completely understanding what I was saying.

"Okay, first plan of action when we get home." Olivia started, "Take Amanda to the bath."

I laughed.

"Then, we eat food, and I don't know what you guys want to do after that." She finished.

"I have a question." I said.

"Yeah?" She looked back at me in the rear view mirror.

"Who are Aria and Noah staying with?" I asked.

"Well, for the day they'll be staying with Carisi, and then I'll go back home at night. You're okay with that right?" Olivia replied.

"Yeah sure." I nodded.

"Okay awesome." She smiled.

Once we got home, Olivia helped me ease Amanda into the tub. Then I helped her with whatever she needed help with, which was pretty much everything.

"Our places have switched." I said, making her hair into an extremely long mowhawlk.

"I know." She sighed. "Are you happy about that?"

I shrugged, even thought she couldn't see me. "Not happy, I'd rather you be healthy and able to do this yourself but I'm happy to help you."

Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew she was smiling.

"What do you want to wear?" I asked once everything was finished.

"I don't care, anything easy." She replied.

"T-shirt and sweatpants sound okay?" I started drying off my hands, pulling off the gray long sleeved shirt I had been wearing as it was completely soaked, leaving me in my bright purple sports bra.

She nodded. "Yeah."

I walked into my room, put on a sweatshirt, then walked back into Amanda's room and found exactly what I was looking for. When I came back I helped her out and into her clothes and we walked back into the living room.

"I just called the chinese place." Olivia said, placing the house phone on the counter. "They'll be here in an hour."

"Good because I'm absolutely starving." I groaned, walking over to the fridge. "We really need groceries."

"I'll go out and do those tomorrow." Olivia said.

"Liv, you don't have to do that. Me and Annie can manage to do that ourselves." Amanda said.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at Amanda. "Whether you like it or not, you don't always have to be in charge."

Amanda took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "That's been my life since I was a kid, Liv. It's ingrained in me."

"True." I nodded from my place at the fridge.

"I always took care of Kim and Annie since the time I was little. I did everything for them. This is weird for me."

"Get used to it, Mandy." I spoke, opening the Naked juice in my hands. "Because now it's time for us to take care of you."

She nodded with a yawn. "Chinese wont be here until an hour, right?"

"Right." Olivia replied.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap." She stood up, "Wake me up when it's here?"

"Yeah sure." I responded.

Amanda left, leaving me and Olivia in the kitchen alone together.

"I know that you're going to take this opportunity to talk to me about what we spoke about at the hospital, so I'm just going to break the ice for you." I looked over at the brunette woman, a small smile came to her lips.

"Smart girl."

I shrugged. "Amanda does that to me a lot too. You get used to it."

"I have a question for you," Olivia said. "If you...murdered him. Why wasn't there an investigation."

"There is." I replied. "It's ongoing..."

"Still, a month later?" Olivia's eyes widened.

I nodded. "He's...a cop. Obviously it won't stop until a year later I'm sure."

Olivia scratched her forehead. "Do you have the newspaper that you saw all of this on?"

"It's in my room, let me go get it." Taking the small journey to my room, I returned with The New York Times in my left hand and handed it to Olivia.

She flipped through the pages and nodded. "I know what this is, they found semen on the ground next to him. Thought he was raped before he got knocked out but there was no DNA on him. They covered up the semen, and something tells me, they knew exactly why it was there, and why it was his."

I swallowed down my tears. "If I say something now, I'll be charged with murder, Liv. They wont believe I was raped."

Olivia rubbed my back softly. "He got what he deserved, Annie."

"I know he did. But I can't get the picture out of my head some days." I looked down at my fingers, "Him just...His hands. All over me. I was stark naked and just so completely terrified, I grabbed the rock and just smashed it over his head. I didn't want to kill him, I just wanted to get away from him. All I wanted to do was get away from him. I didn't mean to kill him, but the blood just kept gushing out. He was unconcious. I ran, as fast as I could back home. I took a shower, told Amanda I had gone to the park and that was that. I never told her what happened that night. I still haven't."

"You should." Olivia said. "You need to tell your sister what happened to you."

"She has so much to deal with right now." I shook my head. "I need to take care of her first. Maybe I'll tell her later on."

"Not maybe, do it." Olivia grabbed my hand. "Tell her."

"Okay."

"Okay." She smiled at me lightly.

I smiled back. 


	12. Chapter 11

Finally, Zara had recovered from her surgery, and Nick had come home. Olivia went to get him from the airport so I stayed with Amanda and got her drinks when she needed them, switched the channel when she got bored. I honestly could not wait to see him. We had been skyping for the past who knows how long, and each time it sucked because I knew that I would have to wait another day or more to actually be with him again.

Me and Amanda were sitting on the couch, Amanda sitting criss-cross-applesauce, and my head was resting on her legs. We were watching Orphan Black, I had lost interest a long time ago, but it was nice to spend time with Amanda without anyone else there. We haven't had a lot of that really.

But, when I heard the door knob twist, I jumped off of the couch. "Nick!"

He walked through the door, his suitcase at his side. I jumped on him and hugged him tight.

"Hey, Annie." He laughed, hugging me just as tightly.

"I missed you." I smiled.

"I miss you too." He replied.

I let go of him so he could go see Amanda. "Be careful with her arms though, they're painful."

He took note of that when he hugged her, wrapped his arms around her shoulders instead of underneath her arms as he usually did.

"Hey, Nick." She whispered.

Nick pulled away from the hug, and kissed her on the mouth. It took them a few minutes before they both pulled away. I pretended to gag, and left to the kitchen.

Neither cared, because when I got back with a drink of my own they were still making out. "Okay, I get it, you missed each other. Can you at least wait till I'm asleep?"

The two laughed after pulling away from each other, Amanda touched her lips. I've never actually seen her that happy before. It was quite the sight, and I missed it. I remember when Nick left, and she was just so heartbroken. She drank a bottle of wine every night, got a little tipsy and went to bed. I hadn't seen a genuine smile on her face in a long time, until Nick came back.

"Want a drink, Nick?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm good, I drank water the way here." He responded, "But thanks."

I shrugged and took a long sip of the lemonade in my hands.

"Okay, now that Nick is back can we PLEASE go to the park?" I asked, my fingers intertwined in the others.

"How about we let him actually settle in, and then tomorrow we go to the park?" Amanda offered.

I groaned. "Fine. That's okay I suppose."

"For now, why don't we all go out and get some dinner?" Nick said. "I'm starving, and airplane food is awful."

I nodded happily. "Can we!?"

"Yeah." Amand smiled. "I'd like that."

"Can we please go to that mexican place? I've been dying for a taco." I said.

"Sure." Nick laughed. "Go get ready to go and we'll leave."

I ran into my room, found the closest pair of clean jeans that sat on my dresser, and a red long sleeved shirt. I threw them on, grabbed my converse, and slid those on as well. I tied my hair up into a pony tail, and walked back out. "Can we go now?"

"Can I take your order?" Asked a tall man, his hair dyed purple.

"Can I get the double taco?" I said.

He wrote down my order, then Nick and then Amandas. He stared at as for a moment before finally saying, "You're a beautiful family. It's so hard to find a family so loving as you all. Me and my co-workers were talking about it, so many daughters wouldn't ever help their mother eat or drink in a time of need anymore. It's sad."

I blushed, even though I was Amanda's sister, the guy was right. Most kids wouldn't help their parents the way I was helping Amanda.

"Got lucky with this one." Amanda smiled at me, scoothing closer.

I laughed.

"Anyway, sorry. I'll go place your order." The man said, a blush creeping up to his cheeks as he walked away.

"I've never had anyone mistake me for being your mom." Amanda laughed.

"It's probably because Nick is here too." I shrugged.

"Still, even when I take you out, no one assumes you're my kid." Nick pointed out.

"Well. Isn't this just a special time." I crossed my arms on the table.

"Mom, dad. I have something to tell you to ruin the moment." I said.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Things were so happy."

I laughed.

When we got home, I got changed into pajamas. "Okay, need help with the bath?" I asked Amanda.

"No, Nick's going to help me tonight. You can go relax, you've been a good girl all this week helping me." Amanda smiled.

I cringed. "Oh, okay."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Get your head out of the gutter, Anastasia Phoebe."

I put my hands up in defense. "Hey, it's not my fault. You did this to me."

She shook her head. "Well now I'm just debating not giving you your surprise."

"What surprise?" I perked up.

She chuckled. "Guess what I bought you?"

"What!?"

"Guess!" She insisted.

"Amanda!"

"Okay, okay." She laughed. "I bought you a type writer."

I screamed.

She cringed.

"You did? You're the best!"

I've wanted a type writer since I was ten, because I loved the way they looked, and how they felt against your hands. I remember going to Munch's house, and he had one, and I begged Amanda daily for one until I forgot about it eventually.

"I know I am." She smiled. "But you are too. You've done a lot for me these past two weeks. You deserve it."

I grinned widly. "Where is it?"

"It's coming in the mail, it wont be here until Monday." She replied.

"Okay. I'm gonna go to my room and Skype, Aria. But I'll see you after your bath." I said.

She nodded. "Okay, sweetie."

So I left, my thoughts on the type writer I was soon to have.  



	13. Chapter 12

Truth be told, if someone told me that when I woke up today, and saw the hottest guy in school had texted me I would have told you you were an absolute maniac. But, I did. I did wake up today, and the hottest guy in school did text me.

I think I sat on my bed for a good fifteen minutes just staring at the text I got, mouth open wide, eyes matching. 'Hey Anastasia. I just wanted to say hi and that im so sorry for all youv been thru bc i know that youv been thru alot. Eve told me what she did, shes a mess, cries during every lunch break.'

Finally, I decided to text him back. "Hey, Lucas. No need to apologize, it's not your fault. And is she really? I have a hard time believing that. Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh.'

He quickly responded. 'u can sound as harsh as u want. ur a good person, dont deserve any of the crap she does to u. its not fair at all. and im apologizing for myself too, cuz i didnt stand up for u wen u were hurting the most.'

My eyes filled with tears. "It's okay. I'm used to it."

'u shouldnt be used to that shit! its terrible that u even have to say that. listen, im goin to this fireworks thing with the fam tonight and i wanted to know if u could com? it would mean a lot.'

My mouth gaped open again. The hottest guy in my school just invited me to watch fireworks with him in his family. Is this even happening?

'I'd have to ask my sister, but I'm sure she's going to say yes!' Oh, maybe I shouldn't use the exclamation point. Makes me sound too excited. I quickly changed it to a period.

'ok cool beans! ill see u soon then?'

My breath got stuck in my throat, I let out a weird gargly sound instead of the squeal I was hoping for and face planted on my bed. He said cool beans too!

'Lol, I'm glad I'm not the only one that says cool beans! Yeah, you should see me soon. What time will you come?'

'cool beans. ;) also, 7 pm and it ends at 8 30.'

I made the same weird ass sound again.

'Okay! See you then! (hopefully)'

'Kay!'

I ran out of my bedroom almost tripping over the carpet out in the living room and ran straight into Amanda's bedroom where Nick and Amanda were both watching television.

"Guess what!" I had to try hard not to make the noise a third time.

"What?" Nick looked at me, concerned.

"The hottest guy ever just asked me to go see fireworks with his family and I really really really really really wanna go and his parents will bet there and it's going to be okay, and he's so hot and-"

I took a deep breath.

"Okay. Okay." Amanda laughed, looking Nick in the eyes. Nick still looked concerned.

"Can I go, Amanda I'm literally begging you!" I got onto my knees, giving her the best puppy face I could muster up.

"Okay, who is this boy?" Amanda said.

"I already told you-"

"I got that he's hot." Amanda noted, "But who is he, because he's obviously more than just a pretty face if you're this excited."

I bit my bottom lip and sighed. "We used to be friends when I was 10. Sort of, we spoke a lot, and we hung out during lunch and recess. But then we grew apart, we had a huge crush on each other, it was obvious."

"Okay." Amanda took a deep breath. "His parents will be there?"

I nodded.

"Okay. You can go." She smiled. "What time is this going on, and what time will you be home?"

"It starts at 7 and he's coming back to get me at 8:30." I replied, a grin reaching up to my ears had suddenly appeared on my face.

Nick groaned.

Amanda covered his mouth. "Go get showered and ready for the day. Aria is coming over today."

I nodded. "Can I take a bath in your bathroom, though?"

"Of course."

* * *

And so I did, and after my amazing bath I threw on some black leggings and a purple knit sweater.

Aria came at around two, and sat on the balcony with a bowl of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips.

"So...I'm going to court next week." She said.

I looked up at her, my face softening. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "Scared shitless."

I wrapped her in a side hug, and she rested her head on my shoulder. "That's okay. It's okay to be scared shitless."

"I don't want to see him again." She said. "I don't want to look in his eyes."

I rubbed her arm. "I'll come. I'll come and watch, it'll be okay. Don't look at him, look at me the entire time."

"Are you really?"

I nodded. "Well I'm certainly going to try. It's not like I'll be in jail or something."

Aria laughed.

"So guess what happened to me." I said.

"What?" She pulled away from our embrace.

"Lucas texted me."

"Super hot, I wish he was my boyfriend, Lucas?" Her eyes buldged.

I nodded. "He apologized for not standing up for me against Eve, and hes taking me to see fireworks tonight with his family."

"You lucky girl." She swatted at my arm.

I laughed. "I know."

"Well have fun for me. Olivia and I have to meet with Barba to 'discuss matters'." She rolled her eyes.

"I will." I patted her head. "I will."

* * *

When Lucas picked me up at 7, Nick handed me a bottle of pepperspray. "If he hurts you, you kick him straight in the balls and spray him with this."

I sighed. "Yes, dad."

I saw his eyes glimmer at the idea of me calling him dad, and that made me happy to see him happy.

"Go." He kissed my forehead. "Have fun."

I met Lucas outside of the apartment building, a smile plastered on his face.

"Hey, Annie-Candy." He said, using the nickname he gave me when we were so much younger.

"Haven't heard that one in awhile." I gave him a smile as well.

He linked arms with me. "To the car, shall we?"

"We shall." I nodded and he lead me to the black SVU.

We got into the back seat, a babies car seat seperating us.

"Aww, she's so cute." I cooed, looking at the baby that sat in the seat.

"Her name's, Annie." He chuckled, rubbing his neck.

"It was Lucas' idea." Lucas' mother looked back at me with a smile. "He was inspired by your name."

"Ma!" His face went red.

I laughed. "That's okay, Luke. That's really nice actually."

He sighed.

"It's so nice to see you, Anastasia." Her mother spoke once again. "It's been so many years, how have you been. How's your sister?"

"We're doing good." I smiled at her. She hadn't changed a bit.

"Well, as good as you can." Her smile lightened. "I heard what happened to you with, Eve."

'Did she tell everyone?" I glanced at Luke.

"I told my mom." He replied. "It kinda scared me at first. I couldn't imagine Eve ever doing that to you. I know she was nasty, and mean. But...That's just taking things to a new low."

The rest of the car ride was silent. And so was most of the fireworks show. But the fireworks show was a nice quiet, aside from all the BANG! BANG! BANG!'s. Luke wrapped his hand around mine.

I smiled, biting my lip to keep myself from making another weird sound. It seemed to be something that happened to me any time anything had to do with Luke...

He scootched closer, pressing his lips to her cheek, leaving it a rosie red color.

* * *

"You know, I had a lot of fun." I said.

The night was over, and he had walked me up to my apartment.

"Me too." He replied, grabbing both of my hands.

"I really hope we can do this again soon." I mumbled.

"As do I."

"Well, I'd better go in, before my sister thinks I've died." I laughed, grabbing the doorknob.

"Wait."

"What?"

Before he could respond, he grabbed me with both of his hands and pressed a long kiss to my lips.

My eyes widened.

"That was for the many, many times I wanted to kiss you, but didn't have the balls." He whispered into my ear. "Goodnight, Annie-Candy."

And he left, leaving me standing there speechless.

The door opened, Nick looked pissed. Amanda looked pissed too.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Did you see that?"

"What? What are you talking about? No. Just come in." Nick sighed, rubbing his face.

I was starting to become concerned at this point. "Guys, what's wrong?"

The two split apart from each other, Olivia along with two other police officers stood in the living room.

"Annie, we have a bit of a problem." Olivia announced.

My heart sunk to my stomach.

"Anastasia Phoebe Rollins, you're under arrest for the murder of Randy Walkers-"

He contintued to marandize me, but I could hear none of it. Tears spilled from my eyes. I couldn't say, hear, or see anything. I only felt. I felt sick.


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey, all! Thank you guys so much for the support, it means the world! Just a warning, this and the last chapter have been time skipped to wear Amanda has recovered from her injuries. So if you see that she's fully mobile now, don't say that I messed up, or I ruined the plot or whatever. I definitely didn't forget her arms broke!**

"Officer is that really necesarry?" Amanda growled.

"Yes," The officer responded, "she's been charged with murder, Detective."

"She's a fifteen year old girl!" Amanda practically screamed. "She doesn't need to be handcuffed!"

"We both know, that kids can do the most heinous things." He said at once before leaving, dragging me along with him.

"Mandy!" I yelled. "Mandy, please!"

She ran out of the apartment, tears streaming down her face. "Sweetie it's okay."

But it wasn't. This wasn't okay.

After a painfully long car ride to the police station, I was stuck in a holding cell and no more than five seconds later, Amanda came to me.

"Please get me out of here." I cried.

"Look at me." Her palms cupped my cheeks, "I'm not gonna let you spend the night in a jail cell without me right here. Do you hear me?"

I nodded.

She sighed, looking down at her feet. "I really wish you told me what happened before, Sweets. We could have avoided this."

"I was scared." I wiped away my tears. "I didn't want you to hate me."

"Why would I hate you, baby?" Amanda's voice cracked. "I could never hate you, Annie."

I shrugged.

"Listen to me, this is going to be going to court tomorrow. Let me find out what time." Amanda said.

"Don't leave." I gasped.

"I'm not leaving you, sweetie. I'll be right back." Amanda said, before walking away.

I curled up at the corner of the cell, sobbing into my knees. I was going to jail because I killed my rapist, and I was going to be raped again and again and again because that's exactly what happens there and it wouldn't be right. Oh G-d.

Amanda came back. "Sweets, you're going to court at 9 am sharp tomorrow morning. I'll have Nick run by some nicer clothes for you."

I nodded. "Can you stay here, while I sleep?"

"Not leaving you, baby." She smiled at me.

I curled up at the bottom of the cell to get as close to my sister as possible. She stuck her hand inside of the bars and caressed my hair until I fell asleep.

* * *

"What do you plead?" The judge looked at me and my lawyer, also known Rafael Barba.

"Not guilty your honor." He answered for me.

"We ask for remand, your honor." The A.D.A., who was a real ass hole, said.

"Your honor," Rafel Barba rolled his eyes, "she's fifteen years old. She doesn't have a passport, and she lives with two detectives."

"One of whom is her sister, and the other one is her love interest." The A.D.A. scoffed.

The judge sighed, not wanting to be there. Just like me. "I'm letting her go back home with her sister-"

"Your honor, approach?" The D.A. said suddenly.

The judge rolled her eyes, beckoning the two lawyers forward.

Rafel rubbed my arm before walking towards the judge, they chittered and chattered for awhile before finally pulling apart. "Like I said, she's to go back home with her sister. Court adjourned."

I grinned wildly, pulling Amanda into a big hug.

"Rafael, I need to ask." Amanda said, pulling away from our embrace. "What are our chances of winning this?"

"It would have been better if she had come forward as soon as it happened, but his semen was found at the site of where it happened, along with menstrual blood with DNA that matches Annie's." Rafel said, "I think that I'll fight like hell, and it's possible we can do this. It would be even better if we had a witness, but of course, when does like ever become easy? Anyway, I've gotta run. I'll see you in court at five." He said.

"Five!" Amanda's eyes buldged. "What!?"

"The judge has no time this month, and the D.A. is refusing to allow Annie to stay with you for a month without knowing if you'll find a way to smuggle her out of the country." He rolled his eyes, "We have to do this today."

Tears peaked at the edges of my eyes.

"Do you have everything you need to win this, Barba?" Amanda seethed.

"I've had it for a long time." He said, "Olivia came to me with this long before Anastasia was ever arrested, Amanda."

Amanda looked at her feet and took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm trusting you Barba."

"Good." He spoke, before leaving.

Me and Amanda shared a look.

That day for lunch we went to a diner. Nick sat next to me.

I didn't eat much, but I did down four cups of coffee. I didn't exactly sleep like night.

"I hope Barba's got this." Nick said.

"He's always got something up his sleeve." Amanda reminded. "Always."

"He said he didn't this time." I mumbled. "That he'd have to fight like hell."

Both said nothing, knowing what I said was the truth.

When it was time to meet back at the court house, the air was heavy. Barba walked over to us, a grin covering his whole face.

"Why are you smirking like a smart ass?" Amanda grumbled.

"Because I just gained a superpower." He said.

The cocky bastard had something up his sleeve. As usual, I guess, though.

"What kind? You're gonna change the mind of the jury?" I said sarcastically.

"No. But she might." He grinned again. "Come on, don't want to be late."

We walked into the court room. The air felt even heavier there. It almost suffocated me every breath I took.

I sat on the chair next to Barba. His cocky grin still stood proudly on his face and I wish I could just slap it right off of him. This was no time to be grinning when I could be thrown in a jail cell the very next hour.

"Listen, I'm doing you a favor, Matthew's." The judge stared straight at the A.D.A. "So let's speed this along. I have children to tend to at home. Who would like to go first?"

"I'd like to call up my first witness, if I may." Barba stood up, buttoning his blazer. "Anastasia Rollins."

"Come up to the stand, Ms. Rollins." The judge said, waving a hand towards the stand next to her.

I got up slowly and walked towards the stand. A lump in my throat grew wider and wider, and it was impossible to get down no matter how many times I tried. I was the sworn in, I sat.

"Ms. Rollins, you understand why we're here today, correct?" Barba said.

"Yes, sir. I'm here because I'm being charged with murder. Of the man who raped me." I said, looking at the jury before looking back at my hands.

"And I," Barba pulled his hands to his chest, "am so sorry that you have to be here right now. But, because we are, I do have to ask you some questions."

"That's fine." I nodded.

"This man, did you know him?" Barba asked.

"No. I didn't know him personally." I replied.

"But, you knew of him?" He raised his eyebrows.

"My..." I bit my bottom lip. "a classmate of mine was his niece."

"Whom was this classmate?" Barba furrowed his eyebrows.

"Eve Katz." I mumbled.

He nodded solemnly. "So, how did it come to be, that you were alone with this individual?"

"Eve and I haven't gotten along in a very long time." I said, my eyes watering. "We...grew apart. She started to bully me, we used to be friends."

He nodded, beckoning me to keep speaking.

"She came to me one day, and apologized for everything. I hung out at her house every day after that, we were starting to become friends again." My voice cracked. "She, told me that her uncle had this little hide out by a creek. That she could take me there because it wouldn't be too far away."

"Okay." He said. "You knew that he would be there?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Okay."

"So, we went, after I asked Amanda. My sister." I looked at her, she smiled lightly at me and I looked back at Barba. "When we got there, the water looked really nice, and cold. It was so hot." I shook my head.

"Eve said we could go swimming, I told her I didn't have my bathing suit but she laughed. She said 'I've known you since I was ten, Anastasia. We used to get dressed in front of each other all the time after gym.' I was confused, so she said, 'Let's go skinny dipping.' I'd never done it before. But I thought it would be something new, exciting. I thought...Maybe it would be fun."

"Of course." He nodded, fully understanding my reasoning.

"So I said yes." I laughed a fake laugh, followed by a grimace. "It was fun. At first, we laughed, splashed each other. But then, when I went under water, I couldn't see her anymore. I looked everywhere, and she wasn't anywhere to be found. I went back to the shore of the creek and she wasn't there either and neither were my clothes. I figured she pulled another prank on me, so I was pissed. More than pissed, I was sad. I cried for five minutes before someone came up behind me."

"Who came up behind you?" Barba asked.

"Randy." Tears fell from my eyes. "I was cold, so he gave me his jacket. He tried not to look at me. He said he was Eve's uncle, that he could help me. But he didn't help me. He...he told me that if I did him a favor, he would drive me back home."

"Did you do him a favor?" Barba asked.

"Yes. He started to...get undressed in front of me. I tried not to look, I covered my eyes. But he took my hand off of them, and..." I almost gagged, completely almost lost my lunch in the court.

"Keep going." Barba said.

"He, pressed it on his penis." I gulped, the lump enlarged in size. "I told him I didn't want to do that, I would do anything else, just not that. He laughed, took the jacket off of me. He made me touch him, down there, again. Then. He started to..."

Amanda looked at me in the eyes, using her looks instead of her voice. 'It's okay, sweets. It's okay.'

"He raped me. He wouldn't stop, it hurt. I told him no, I told him to stop." I started to sob. "But he wouldn't. He wouldn't stop, and, and the only thing I could think of was to hit him in the head with something so that I could get away."

Barba nodded once again.

"So I grabbed a rock, and hit him with it." I wiped my tears away, "The blood wouldn't stop though. It wouldn't stop. I got scared, I ran off. Then, I found my clothes, I figured Eve had left them there when she ran off to let her uncle do whatever he wanted with me. So I put them on and I ran back home."

"I'm so sorry, Anastasia. I'm so sorry." Barba said sincerely.

I rolled my eyes and covered my face. I was humiliated, and that's the only thing he had to say to me? But what else could he do?

He went to sit down, and Matthew's stood up.

"I'm so sorry that you believe this has happened to you." He stated, I glared.

"It did happen to me." I snapped.

"I believe you believe that it did. Can I ask you a question, Anastasia?"

"You're gonna ask me them anyway, and I'm under oath. So I don't have much of a choice, now do I?" I scoffed.

The judge looked at me, a warning in her eyes.

I simmered down with my tone of voice from then on.

"You, willingly, went skinny dipping with Eve. Is that correct?"

I nodded. "Yeah. We both wanted to do it."

"Are you sure that Eve never said anything about her uncle there? Is it possible you just missed it?" He said.

"No...I don't think so."

"Think harder." He pressed. "Think back to that day. Were you doing anything distracting?"

"I was listening to music." I said.

"So, it's possible, that she had possibly mentioned him being there, but you had been disracted?" He said.

I shrugged. "I guess so, yes, it's possible."

"So, when you went to this lake with Eve. She had thought you were okay with her uncle being there, while you weren't dressed."

My jaw tightened. "Yes. She very well could have had that idea."

"So, it's possible, that her uncle had the wrong idea? I mean, maybe Eve even said you wanted to have consensual sex with him."

"Objection, there's no way he could know that." Barba stood up.

"Sustained. Rephrase, Matthew's." The jude raised her eyebrows at the man.

"Okay, so, maybe, this is totally hypothetical. Eve said you wanted to have consensual sex with him?" He said.

I sighed. "It's possible."

"Right, so, Randy came to the creek to have sex with you. Hypothetically of course! But, you had missed that part of the conversation when you and Eve were speaking. Once again, hypothetical." He made a point to look at Barba and back at me. "So, he didn't even know you didn't want it."

"It wouldn't have mattered anyway, that's statutory rape." I pointed out.

"I mean, hypothetically, Eve very well could have lied about your age. I mean, she lied about everything else, didn't she?"

I practically growled at the man. "There's no way I could have known that!"

"But he could have."

"I told him I didn't want it!" I insisted. "I told him to stop!"

"Did you know Randy was partially deaf? Especially close up." Matthews said.

"No. I didn't."

"So, he very well could have not even heard your no's and stop's."

"Yes, it's possible he could not have heard me." I responded, my voice low.

"Just like it's possible you could have even wanted it."

"Objection!" Barba yelled.

"Sustained, Matthews, tread lightly." The judge's voice turned hard.

"No further questions." He looked me in the eyes, a dark look deep iin his pupils.

"You may step down from the stand, Anastasia." The judge said softly.

I balled my hands into fists and walked to my originial seat next to Barba.

"Are there any other witnesses?" The judge asked.

"I'd like to call Eve Katz to the stand." Barba said.

I gasped, loudly. Everyones eyes turned towards me. "Eve?" I whispered, so only Barba could hear me.

He extended his finger to shush me, and there she was. Eve Katz. She strided in the court room. Her arms held close to her chest. She looked scared. Just like I was when she left me stranded, naked, all alone.

She stepped onto the witness stand, taking a deep breath.

Barba stood up. "Good evening, Ms. Katz."

"Good evening." Her voice barely above a whisper.

"Ms. Katz, may I ask you what happened the night of Anastasia's rape?" Barba asked.

"I can tell you everything." She said.

He nodded. "Go ahead."

"I...I've been jealous of Anastasia since she moved here. Well, maybe that's not true. We were friends. Me, Lucas, and Anastasia. We were really good friends, and one day, she invited us to her sisters work. I saw that the whole squad really loved her. Her sister loved her. She had a family." Eve mumbled quietly, her eyes focusing on her knees. "So, I wanted her to feel the way I've been feeling since I was little. Unloved, and ignored."

Barba nodded. "So, did you achieve that goal?"

"Yeah." She replied. "I did. I'm, pretty popular in our school. Whatever I say usually goes, y'know? I have a lot of power. I eventually got everyone to ignore her. To tease her. And I did too. It felt good to know that someone else felt the same as me. I just, didn't want to be alone."

I shook my head. Why, why, why? Why couldn't she have handled this differently? I could have been there for her! Me, Lucas. We both could have helped her.

"Didn't want to be alone in what, Eve?" Barba asked.

"My parents...I'm adopted. They have four biological children that they love very much, and I've always been kind of an outsider. Always. The black sheep of the family, you know? I know they don't love me like they do their own. I've come to terms with that now, after what I did." Eve bit her lip, her voice starting to crack.

"What did you do, Eve?"

"I wanted to prank her." She said, lifting her head to look at the jury. "I really just wanted to mess around with her. I knew of a place where my uncle used to go, where he would just sit and think. He took me there once, so I could sit and think. He's the only one that ever cared about me. We were close. So...I took Anastasia there. I asked her if she wanted to skinny dip, and she agreed. So we did, and when she went under the water I quickly got out, stole her clothes, and hid in the woods. Just to scare her a little. I...I didn't know my uncle would have been there." She started to sob.

"So you didn't know that Randy Walkers was going to be there that day?" Barba said.

"No." She cried. "I didn't know. When I saw him, I kinda got scared. I thought he would get me in trouble with my parents. But then...He started to do things to her. Really bad things. He raped her. She kept saying no, stop it, no. She hit him, tried to get him off of her but he wouldn't budge. She...She grabbed the rock. She hit him over the head. There was so much blood." She paused.

"It's okay, Eve. Take your time." Barba said reassuringly.

"I pulled my clothes on, and I ran all the way home. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do." She started sobbing again, uncontrollable sobs.

I couldn't believe this was coming from her mouth. Eve Katz's mouth. Maybe she was just as scared as I was. Maybe that's why she's been hurting me all this time...Maybe that's why she left me that day.

"I'm sorry." She looked at me. "I'm so sorry, Annie. I know I've really effed up. I know I did. But I really hope you can forgive me. I get it if you can't, that it will take time."

I licked my lips, tears streaming down my face.

"So, from what you saw, Eve. It was in self defense, his murder?" Barba asked.

"Yes. From what I saw, she did it because there was nothing else she could do."

"Thank you, no further questions." Barba said.

"Matthew's?" The judge looked over to the councilor, his hands in his hair, his face red.

"No, your honor." He replied, his voice low and nasty.

"No other witnesses, Barba?" She asked.

"No, your honor." He replied.

"Very well then. We'll let the jury converse, let's take a short recess." She banged her mallet against the wood.

Eve stepped off the stand, her legs shaking uncontrollably.

I ran over to her, and hugged her. Something I thought I would never do again in my life, but I did it. I had to. Something inside of me told me that she needed it more than anyone else right now.

She hugged me back, crying into my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Annie. I didn't want it to happen to you! I didn't! I was so scared when he started hurting you. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help, I did, Annie!"

"It's okay, Eve. It's okay." I mumbled, rubbing her back. "If you had stepped in, he would have hurt you too. You need to understand that it was better that way. Better me, than you."

"No!" She practically yelled. "Not better you than me. I'm such a terrible person. I know that I'm the one that caused you to try to commit suicide. I know I'm the cause of the pain you're feeling. I deserve hell for all I've done to you."

"The only people that deserve hell," I said, pulling away from the hug and looking deep into her eyes. "are rapists and murderers. People that do heinous things. That's not you, Eve. You need love. That's all."

"Can you forgive me?" She whispered.

"I can." I smiled. "I forgive you. I don't know how easy it will be for me to be your friend again right away. But I forgive you wholeheartedly, Eve."

She wrapped her arms around me again, and we stood in the middle of the courtroom gathered in one another's arms.

All of a sudden I felt another pair of arms wrap around us. I looked back. Lucas was smiling at me.

We were in this same position five years ago. All wrapped together in an emotional hug because someone tripped Eve in the hallway. But I never thought that we would be doing this again. Especially in the middle of a court room, awaiting the answer as to whether or not I'll be put in jail for the rest of my childhood.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Amanda called my mom. We came as soon as we heard. But truth be told, I wasn't expecting this to happen again."

We all laughed.

"I missed this." Eve mumbled. "You guys were always good to me. I've been so awful to you, Annie."

I nodded. "You have. But life goes on, and the page turns. I have a feeling another chapter of our lives is coming up very soon."

We came apart from the hug, and Luke gave me a kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Really?" My eyes widened.

"Really."

"I love you too." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Eve smiled. "I always shipped you guys."

I smiled very slightly.

"Hate to break up the reunion," The judge started. "but the jury has a verdict."

We all sat down, the first juror sat up with a piece of paper.

"What's your verdict?" The judge asked.

"For murder in the first degree, we find Anastasia Rollins to be-"

 **HA. Cliff hanger! Also, isn't that so sweet? Eve and Annie made up. Well, at Annie's trial but still, nonetheless, they made up! Who's excited for the next chapter? I know I am!**

 **Sam**


	15. Chapter 14

**Hey, all! I recently had a guest review, asking what happened to Annie's self harming. Well, I'm not sure if you guys remember because it was so long ago, but when she tried to commit suicide the doctor told Amanda to check her over after every shower to make sure Annie hadn't self harmed again. Plus, Amanda had been heavily hurt when Annie tried to kill herself, she was extremely broken down, and Annie saw this. She doesn't want to hurt her sister anymore. Although, I will introduce her self harm once again, but I will make sure that she stops it forever. So keep reading to find out what happens with that! Anyway, enjoy the next chapter!**

I sucked in a deep breath.

"Not guilty."

All of my friends and family stood up, and ran to give me a huge hug.

"Thank you to the jury for their service for the state, court is adjourned." The judge slammed her mallet against the wood.

"What now?" I said, crying tears of joy.

"We eat." Amanda said.

Everyone laughed.

Luke's family, Eve, Aria, Olivia, and the rest of the squad all squished into our tiny apartment. Amanda had ordered pizza, pepperoni, my favorite.

Me, Luke, Aria and Eve all went into my bedroom. I shut the door behind us.

"Okay. I told Luke and Eve today at the court house that this is the start of a new chapter." I said to Aria. "Did you know us three used to be best friends?"

Aria's mouth gaped open. "No joke?"

"Absolutely no joke." Eve responded.

"And now, that we're friends again, we want you to join our team." I said, a smile on my face.

"Should I be honored?" Aria laughed.

"Yes." Luke responded seriously, "No one was ever invited to The Dream Team."

"The Dream Team?" Aria raised a brow.

"Don't make fun. It was a thing." I laughed.

"Right." Aria nodded slowly.

"You are not officially apart of the squad. Do you feel any different?" Eve asked.

"No, not at all." She said.

"That's offensive." I gasped.

We laughed.

"Guys," Amanda poked her head in. "come eat. The pizza's getting cold."

The four of us left my bedroom and walked back out, everyone was eating. Everyone got a slice of pizza, except for me, I decided to stay in the kitchen to pour myself a cup of chocolate milk.

"Hey, Annie." Nick walked in, grabbing a glass. "Pour me some?"

"Sure." I smiled, the chocolatey liquid filling the clear glass quickly.

"You know how proud I am of you, right?" He said.

I nodded. "I know. Dad..."

Once again, he gave me the same look as before. The same glimmering look, of pure happiness.

"I can call you that, right?" I mumbled.

"Of course." He wrapped me in his arms. "Of course you can, Mija."

"Annie-Candy!" Luke said, "Come here!"

He pulled away from me. "Go see your boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes, laughing, and walked back out to the living room. I settled into Luke's lap. "Why am I here again?"

"I missed you." He replied.

"Right." I grinned, a blush creeping up to my cheeks.

Eve smiled at me, raising her eyebrows. Another blush ran up my cheeks. Wait, why? I put my head down, a heavy weight sat heavely inside of me. Butterflies flew around in my stomach. Shit.

"You okay, Annie?" Luke crained his head to look at me.

I cleared my throat. "I'm great." A fake smile came up to my mouth.

* * *

"I'm awful!" I told Amanda.

She rubbed my back, her eyes fixated on her book. "Sweetie. I'll love you, no matter if you like girls, or if you like boys."

"Amanda! I have a problem here!" I said, my hands flailing wildly. "I like them both!"

Amanda smiled at me. "That's okay too."

"It's not!" I exclaimed. "Now I have an issue. Eve is just about as straight as a ruler, and me and Luke are dating."

"Is your dating official?" She asked.

"Well. No." I replied.

"So tell him you have feelings for someone else." She said.

"I don't know if I do though." I groaned, my head drooped down. "Why is this happening to me."

"Sweets." She put her book down next to her legs. "Look at me."

I did. "Do what your heart is telling you. Whether that's to go after Eve or not. I could care less, they both seem like good kids."

"You're not help." I got off of her bed, and walked into my own room.

I opened my phone, and saw that Eve had texted me.

'I got ur new phone # from luke! hope thats ok?'

'Yeah. That's fine! You didn't have it already?' I replied

"Whenever i txted youi'm really happy were friends again annie. really. i missed it.'

'Me too.' My fingers typed shakily.

'well i guess i should let u sleep. see u tmmr at school?'

'Yeah.'

'see u then! bye Annie-Candy.'

I blushed. "I'm in too deep."

 **I thought I'd mix some things up. I'm very excited to pursue this drama though.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **Sam!**


	16. Chapter 15

Today, Eve had invited me to go volunteer at the local animal shelter. After little thought, Amanda had actually let me go. I was so nervous I was trembling.

A dress? Jeans? Shorts? A t-shirt? A sweater? I bet I'm probably over thinking everything.

"Annie, you're starting to worry me." Amanda said, walking into my room.

I threw a pillow at her face. "Go! I'm not dressed."

"I also changed all of your diapers." She pointed out, catching the pillow in both hands. She threw it on my bed and sat next to it.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what to wear."

"Wear jeans and a t-shirt." Amanda said.

"No! It's too casusal." I sighed.

"You're going to take care of animals. You don't want to be fancy." Amanda laughed.

I bit my bottom lip. "Would jeans and a V neck sweater work?"

"Perfect." My sister nodded.

So, denim jeans with holes at the knees, and a black v neck sweater it was.

"So," Amanda lifted a hip and slid her hand into her back pocket, and out came some cash. "here's some money for lunch afterwards."

"Okay, thanks." I smiled, taking the twenty dollar bill from her.

My phone started to vibrate against my pillow, so I took it off of it's charger. I saw Eve was calling, I answered.

"Hey, Annie. I'm waiting downstairs for you." Her voice sounded.

"Okay, I'm coming!" I replied. "Just let me throw some shoes on."

"Okay, see you soon."

I hung up. "She's here, I'm gonna head out now."

Amanda stood, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Okay. Go have fun."

I pushed both hands into my pockets and made my way out of the apartment. I hadn't been to an animal shelter in a really long time. The last time was probably in 7th grade when we went to a shelter to volunteer as a class, we got extra points on our final which helped me a lot.

Eve stood against the wall entering my building. She was wearing black jeans and a purple t-shirt tucked into her waistband. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she had a sweater tied around her waist.

"Are you cold?" I laughed.

She shook her head, her blond hair waving around wildly. "No. I ran here."

"You live like, seven blocks away." I raised my eyebrows.

"I run twelve daily." She laughed. "I've really took an interest in running."

"Really?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, hard to see, right?"

And it was. She used to hate playing tag with me and Lucas, she always complained we were too fast.

I agreed.

"Okay, we're gonna take a cab. I already called and I have the money." She said.

"Did they say when they'd be here?"

"I called five minutes ago, and they said five minutes. So, I'm assuming now." She smiled.

I laughed. "That would make sense."

"It would." She responded.

And it did. The cab pulled up the side walk, and we both got in. Eve relayed the address to the guy, and we drove off.

* * *

The animal shelter was empty for the most part, apart from the people that worker there and all of the animals of course.

"Are you two the new volunteers?" A guy with bright blue hair asked.

"That's us!" Eve said happily.

"Thank G-d!" He said enthusiastically. "We haven't had volunteers in so long. We actually have the two best patients right now. Come on back with me."

Eve looked at me, and I looked back at her. We smiled.

He took us back into the room with, what I could tell, rodents. "We have two baby ferrets we just rescused yesterday. They need some serious TLC." The guy said.

"What should we do?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Feed them, give them attention. Be super careful. They're fragile." He said, opening up a cage where you could hear baby squeaks coming from.

"Awww!" Eve grinned, looking at the two animals. "They're so cute, Annie."

"Oh right, I never caught your names." The guy said.

"I'm Annie."

"I'm Eve."

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Brian. I'll be over there," he pointed to a cage, "rat with a serious flu."

"Rat's can get the flu?" I asked.

"Of course." He nodded.

I shrugged.

"Okay, if you need anything, I'm there." He said again before leaving us to ourselves.

"Ready to take care of some ferrets?" Eve asked.

"More so than I've ever been." I laughed.

* * *

"He peed on you." Eve laughed, her face was red, tears were streaming from her eyes.

I rolled my eyes as I lifted a new t-shirt over my head. "Whatever."

"He-He." She couldn't catch her breath.

I huffed, grabbing my black sweater, which was now officially pissed on by a very cute baby ferret, in her face.

She screamed. "Oh my G-d!"

"Now shut up about the pissy sweater." I laughed.

"How dare thee." She put a hand on her chest.

"Sorry about that." The guy came back in, a hand wrapped around his neck.

"It's okay. I've had babies pee on my before, this was nothing." I waved it off.

He smiled brightly. "I'm glad. Most volunteers we've been getting scream at the sight of ferrets. I think they're cute."

"I used to have a ferret!" I commented.

"Really?" Eve asked.

I nodded. "Back in Georgia."

"That's so cool." She said.

"Anyway, we've gotta head out. But we'd love to come back sometime." I said.

"How soon?" He asked, "We've got volunteer spaces open every day."

"We should come after school." Eve said. "I've got nothing better to do."

"Me either." I said. "After school tomorrow, possibly, after I ask my overprotective sister."

"Sounds like a plan." Brian said. "See you tomorrow!"

We waved bye and left.

"So where are we going to eat?" I asked.

"Pizza sound good?" She offered.

"Sure." I agreed. "Do you know a place?"

"I sure do!" She laughed, pointing across the street.

"Oh, that works." I nodded.

We made the small journey into the pizza shop. And I must say, it was delicious.

* * *

"That wasn't even your sweater." Amanda groaned. "It was mine!"

"It'll wash out." I laughed, pouring myself a glass of tea. "It's just pee."

She rolled her eyes. "Ferret pee."

"You didn't care when Dumbo peed on you." I commented.

"Dumbo the Ferret, might I add, you named him. And plus, I never held him unless I wore a ratty old shirt. Not my fancy sweaters!"

"It wasn't fancy!" I defended myself. "It was just a regular old sweater."

"Whatever. Did you have fun?" She asked.

I nodded. "Tomorrow, can me, Eve and Lucas walk to school tomorrow?"

"Sure, but why not Aria?" She asked.

"Aria has to go see Barba about trial." I replied.

"Oh. How's that going, by the way?"

I shrugged. "It's going. She's scared out of her mind."

"I would be too. I don't know how you held up, Annie." Amanda wrapped her arms around me.

"Me either, Mandy. Me either."


	17. Chapter 16

The next morning, for the first time in my life, I was actually excited to go to school. When I ran out of my room my skirt was on backwards, my tie was on inside out and half of my shirt wasn't buttoned.

"You look all..." Amanda looked for a word to describe my beautiful outfit.

"Slovenly?"

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. "Eighth grade. Vocab word. Whatever."

"You've always been better with words babe." She went back to her copy of the New York times and sipped at her coffee.

I fixed myself up, and pulled my knee high white socks higher up my knees before slipping my feet into a pair white high top converse.

Then, I walked over to the counter where Amanda had packed my lunch. She truly is a G-d send. She knows how much I hate their fishsticks, and she didn't even need reminding.

Mindlessly I grabbed the red sack and stuffed into my backpack, my eyes tracing the words of the text I had just recieved.

"Me and luke will are here. com down?"

"Mandy, I'm heading out!" I yelled, grabbing two gatorades from the fridge and stuffed them into my bag as well.

"Please be safe! Your butterfly knife is back on your backpacks zipper!" She yelled back from her bedroom.

"I will, mom!" I smiled to myself, emphasizing the word "mom" for the fun of it.

She didn't respond, so I slung the strap over my left shoulder and ran down the stairs. I mean, of course we had to live in an apartment without an elavator, because that was a smart idea.

Getting down the seven flights of stairs, I got out the door and found Luke and Eve pushing each other, laughing.

"Okay, boys and girls, break it up." I joked, getting in the middle of the two. "How is this going to help the situation?"

"Of course it will, he'll have to give me my earbuds back!" She pushed my away lightly and jumped onto Luke's back.

I rolled my eyes. "Evenagiline Ruth Katz! Get off of him this instant!"

She looked at me with big eyes. "I told you about my real name?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Of course."

She jumped off of Luke's back. "I totally didn't remember."

I shrugged. "We have to get to school though, we'll be late."

Luke groaned. "Do we have to?"

"Do you want Amanda to kill us all?" I asked, starting to head in the direction of our private school. "Whether or not you're her siblings or children, she'd probably slap you both upside the head and scold you immensly."

"I'd believe it." Luke nodded. "Does she do that to you?"

"I don't skip school." I laughed.

Eve gasped. "Really? I skip all the time."

"Believable." I nodded.

"Rude." She pushed my shoulders, I felt my stomach tense, my face flushed red.

Luke intertwined his fingers into mine. "Don't listen to her." He kissed my cheek.

My stomach tensed, once again. Oh no.

* * *

"Anasatasia, can you stay back for me?" My English teacher, Mr. Grimes, announced.

My whole class ooh'ed and aww'ed.

"Girls, and boys. You're fifteen, no need for that." He announced once again.

My class shut up, and hurried out the door.

"Yeah?" I stammered, stepping up to the front desk.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the desk.

"You just did." I pointed out.

"I'll take that as a yes." He smiled. "Are you okay?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, using that in itself as a question.

"Your writing," he mumbled, flipping through the papers of my most recent work. "is absolutely beautiful. You have the writing of a fourty year old author, Anasatasia. But it's..."

"Depressing? Morbid? Sad?"

"All of those." He slipped the portfolio onto his desk.

I nodded. "Writing is my escape haven. It's how I deal with things..."

"I know. Which is why I'm worried about you." He said.

"I'm okay..."

"I heard about the trial. I'm glad all went well. I'm also glad you and Eve are friends." He mumbled. "I know things were bad between the two of you."

"How?" I asked, my eyes returning to look at the tips of my shoes.

"Well, she always used to glare at you in the halls." He pointed out, "And your writing clearly pointed out that something was happening between you and a close friend."

"You should be in the FBI. You can analyze like a pro." I joked.

He smiled. "I want you to know you can come to me with absolutely anything, okay? But that's not why I pulled you over here. Have you ever considered writing a book?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Well you should." He grinned, "Because you could do something great. You know...I was considering actually writing another novel myself. As you know, I'm a published author."

"I'm aware."

"I want you to write it with me." He said.

"What?" I gasped.

"You heard me." He laughed.

"But...I'm just a kid. I don't know the first thing about writing a book!" I pointed out, my eyes buldging.

"Your writing," he picked up the portfolio and hit my head forehead lightly with it, a loving gesture. "says otherwise."

Taking a deep breath, I took a moment to absorb all he had just said.

"Here's my email." He took my hand, writing down a bunch of letters with his pen he carried around in his front pocket. "Tell me what you want to do. Tonight."

"Okay." I mumbled, breathless.

He smiled. "Now get outta here. Don't want Ms. Matthews to have a fit."

I laughed.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." Amanda flailed her arms back and forth. "Hold up. Ronnie Grimes wants you, my baby sister, to write a novel with him. A renowned author?"

"That sounds about right." Eve pointed out, eating a piece of pizza as she swiped through her phone.

She had come over to my house so we could hang out, and I had just told Amanda about what happened in English.

"Woah." Amanda breathed. "No joke?"

"No joke." I answered.

"Do you want to do it?" She asked excitedly.

"I'm not sure. I have to email him tonight." I looked at my left hand, tracing lightly over the words so I wouldn't smudge it.

"Say yes." Amanda pushed.

And I did. That very night, I sent my English teacher an email.

'I'll do it, Mr. Grimes.'

 **Thank you, everyone, that's been reviewing! It means the world! Also, I'm sorry I haven't been updating as much lately. I actually just started a job, and I've been super busy. But I've been finding time to write here and there, so thanks guys for the patience. And also, this story will be coming to an end very soon. (I know, super depressing. I'm sad too.) But I will be writing another story, and I'll give you an update about that soon. But for now, keep enjoying Broken Voices while it's still here.**

 **Thank you,**

 **Sam.**


	18. Chapter 17

I guess saying that I wasn't surprised when me and Eve found ourselves kissing in the janitors closet after school would have been weird. But, I wasn't surprised one bit. In fact, I totally expected it to happen. The only problem was, I would have to explain this whole thing to Luke.

As soon as I thought about him, my eyes popped open and I pulled away from Eve.

"What's wrong?" She said, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Luke." I mumbled. "I'm awful."

She sighed. "Annie, he'll be fine."

"How do you know?" I shook my head. "I should have broken things off first..."

"Annie." She took her palms and cupped my cheeks. "I told him I was going to kiss you today. He knew we had feelings for each other, Annie. He was trying to live out a dream that he knew was what he called it. A dream."

I was silent for a few moments, thinking about how great Eve was for telling him. But also thinking about the fact that I could have very well broken his heart today.

"He's okay, Annie." She smiled, pecking my lips again. "Are you?"

I nodded. "I'm okay."

Standing, she grabbed my hands and pulled me up close to her. "We need to start walking back home. I'll come to your house, and we'll tell Amanda and Nick. Together."

"Okay." I whispered.

This was so surreal. I wasn't actually expecting Eve to like me back in the way I was hoping. But then again, my life has been going so good. My self harming thoughts have almost diminished completely. I haven't been so depressed lately with all my friends and family around, and I've been learning how to live again. Something I wasn't expecting to happen again. But it did. And I was happy, for once in my life. Happy.

We walked out of the closet, hand in hand, walking down the hallway.

"Annie!" A voice screamed.

I turned around, panicked. Just like the voice was.

"Annie." Olivia heaved, hands on her knees. She had obviously been running for awhile, probably even the whole way here.

"Hey, Liv." I said, unsure of how to react. "What's wrong?"

"Annie, listen..." She walked over to me, wiping what I thought was sweat from her face. But was actually tears.

"Olivia what's going on?" I asked, gripping Eve's hand harder then I had before.

"Nick...He's." She bit her bottom lip. "He's gone."

"Like...He left to L.A.?" I asked, hope coating my voice.

"No." Her voice slowly tranfered to a whisper. "He's dead, Annie. He's gone."

At first, shock was the first thing I expirienced. Then anger. Then sadness. But it was all so sudden it all happened at once. I stood, not breathing, not moving, just silent tears dripping from both of my eyes.

Eve gathered me into her arms, I collapsed onto the floor, and she still held on. Holding me close. "Oh G-d. It's okay, Anne. You're okay."

Then, I screamed.

* * *

*The Next Day*

I hadn't left my bedroom since I actually got home. Which was an hour after Olivia had told me about Nicks. His...passing. It was sudden. In his sleep. An undetected heart condition that had been brewing for years. Until suddenly, it hit him like a bag of rocks. In the face with no warning. He died napping next to Amanda. She found him dead.

Eve hadn't left me. Her parents gave her permission to stay with me as long as needed. She stayed by me wherever I went. Amanda had been in her room, and I haven't seen her since yesterday. She herself looked dead. Her eyes vacant, and red. Her face puffy from the constant rubbing of her tears. She had tremors in both hands. Olivia had tugged her off to bed in the guest bedroom, away from the place where she stumbled upon her boyfriend, dead, gone.

"Do you want to eat, Anne?" Eve whispered into my ear, pulling hair from my face.

I nodded slowly. I was starving. Too starving to tell her for the one hundreth time that I wasn't hungry at all.

"What do you want for food?" She asked.

"Can I come get it with you?" I mumbled.

She smiled, and nodded.

We both sat up, I grabbed her hand for dear life as if I was a five year old, having her first day at school. Hanging onto her mother to save her from what she thought was.

She opened my door, and when we got out I saw Olivia on the couch reading a book.

"Hi, sweet girl." She smiled at me. "Hungry?"

I nodded slowly.

"Come, I just made a pot of chicken noodle soup." She stood, walking back into the kitchen.

I gulped, and stood outside the kitchen. Looking around, all of our picture frames were empty. Aside from the few that were just me and Amanda.

"Why are we pretending?" I mumbled.

"What?" Eve looked at me, confused.

"He's dead. Not fictional." My eyes filled with tears. "He's still a human. Was. Why are we pretending like he's just never existed?"

"We thought it would hurt you, to see the pictures so soon." Olivia mumbled, coming to me and wrapped her arms around my shaking body.

"I just want 'im back." I sobbed. "Just give me back my daddy."

"Oh baby." She rubbed my back soothingly. "I know. I know how hard it is. But we'll get through this together."

"Don't leave me." I continued to sob. "I don't want anyone to leave me again."

"I'm not leaving. And neither is Amanda, or Eve, or Aria, or the rest of the squad or even your other friends. We're all staying, right next to you, for the whole ride." Olivia mumbled into my ear. "We'll get through this together."

I wiped my tears, just for another gallon of them to spill down my cheeks. "I want, Mandy."

Instead of waiting for Olivia to say something, I ran from the kitchen and into her bedroom. She sat on her bed, her hand clutching a photo of what I assumed was Nick.

"Amanda." I cried.

She looked at me, also crying. She opened both arms, an invitation for me to jump into them. And I did.

We held each other, sobbing. Screaming. Practically dying. Because somehow, in all of this, I think I've forgotten how to live again.

 **I know. I'm evil. You can say it. You probably weren't even expecting this at all, although I had this planned since like, the fifth chapter. But whatever. All will be okay again, soon! You can hate me as much as you want in the reviews. I probably deserve it lmao.**

 **Thank's,**

 **Sam**


	19. Chapter 18

Coping was probably a strong word to use for my recovery. But I was doing better. I was eating, sleeping more without dreaming of Nick. And I even started on some of the school work I had missed. The school ensured us that because there were only two more weeks left, I could stay home and focus on my mental health as long as all of my work was completed and as long as I came in for testing. Plus, I was even starting to feel better enough to contact Mr. Grimes about the book we were to co-author. He said I should be resting, but I made sure he knew that if he wanted to help me, the best he could do was let me smother myself in work. Which is exactly what me and Amanda did in a time of stress.

Amanda took more overtime at work, and I did more school work then needed in a day. Eve stayed by my side, except for when she had to go to school and had to go home to sleep. But other than that, she was with me at all times.

And today, I had another visitor at the door.

I lied on my couch, the time read 2:45. Fifteen minutes after school got out. Eve was to be expected at my doorstep any minute. I focused on my homework, waiting for the noise of the lock to click and clank before the door swung open. I was excited because me and Eve were supposed to watch a scary movie together, so when the doorknob turned, I dropped what I was doing and ran to the door myself to swing it open. What I saw, was not when I expected.

"Luke?"

Eve and Luke stood in the doorway, Eve grinning, Luke blushing. "Hey, Annie."

I quickly wrapped him in my arms. "You don't hate me?"

"Trust me. I knew our relationship would never hold." He laughed. "You and Eve always had something we didn't. Even if you yourself didn't know it yet, I did."

I pulled away. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "I'm okay. I'll find someone, some day. Plenty of fish in the sea."

I smiled. "Come in. Me and Eve were going to watch a scary movie, but I think we can arrange for that to happen another day. For now, why don't we hang out?"

Eve and Luke came in, Eve kissing my cheek and Luke walking straight to the kitchen. Of course.

In the kitchen, things were mostly the same. Although, I did put the pictures of Nick back into the frames. His face never actually made me sad, believe it or not. I smiled every time I saw his.

Me and Eve followed our friend to the kitchen, whom was raiding my fridge.

"Find anything you want to eat?" I asked.

"Duh." He came back leftover pepporni pizza.

I rolled my eyes. "As long as there's enough for me and Eve, it's fine."

"Of course. There's like, a whole box left." He rolled his eyes. "You guys are so unhealthy."

"Well, Amanda's been burried in work. She doesn't come home much, and when she does, her and Carisi are usually hanging out." I said, popping two pieces of pizza in the microwave for Luke.

He raised his eyebrows. "Carisi and Amanda? Woo."

I rolled my eyes. "I think he may be a rebound. Or a stress reliever. Because I'm pretty sure you caught my drift when I said 'hanging out'."

Eve gagged. "We all did."

I laughed. "It's okay though. She has to move on, and I think Carisi really does like her. And I like him. I think he'll be good for her."

Eve wrapped her arms around me. "At least the two of you have someone."

Luke also gagged. "Ugh. Lovey-dovey crap was always your type wasn't it, Annie?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Suddenly, the door swung open once more, reviealing Amanda and Carisi. "Hey guys. What's up, where's Aria?" Carisi announced.

Aria. Another topic. The court case hadn't really gone over very well. Although, Aria had won against her parents, his father threatened her death in the court room. Olivia got so scared, she sent the girl away from New York for the month. Aria had told me this about a week ago, and said we couldn't keep in touch until she got back.

After relaying this to Carisi, he looked expectedly glum. "That sucks. Poor girl."

I nodded. "But she'll be safe. Liv knows what she's doing."

"Hey, I mean, as long as she's safe. Right?" Luke said, mouth full of pizza.

"Right." I agreed, trying to block out the gross sounds coming from his oral orifice.

"Hey, any more of that pizza?" Carisi walked over to the half empty box. "Score."

Amanda came over to me, and kissed my forehead. "How are you doing?"

"Good. You?"

"Just as good." She smiled.

"Why are you home so early?" I asked.

"Liv told me to go home. An order." She rolled her eyes. "I worked about as much as a week in a minimum of two days."

"Am I surprised?"

"No." She sighed. "But at least I'm home, with you. Right?"

I nodded. "Right."

"So," Carisi said, also with a mouth full of pizza, "how's school."

I cringed.

"Terrible." Eve replied. "So sick of all the teachers. Except for Mr. Grimes. He's always been cool."

"Oh yeah! How's that going, Annie, the book thing?" Carisi asked.

"Good." I replied. "We're talking about the plot, characters. After we set up our step up, we can start writing."

"So how is that gonna work?" Luke asked.

"He'll write a chapter, I'll write a chapter, so on and so forth." I answered.

"I'm really proud of you." Amanda announced. "My baby sister is doing big things."

"Thanks." I blushed. "But I'm not sure this is what I want to do with my life."

"What do you want to do then?" Eve asked.

"I wanna be a detective," I smiled, "like you, Mandy."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Really." I replied.

"Well you'd be a great one." She said.

I shrugged.

"Anywho." Luke sighed, placing his plate in the sink. "I've got homework."

"Me too." Eve groaned.

"I already did your homework." I laughed.

"Wanna help us?" Luke offered.

"What else am I supposed to do with my life? I mean, I am your servants and all." I said, sarcasm lacing every word.

Eve rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the living room. "That sarcasm will bite you in the butt one day."

"I'm sure you're right." I agreed.

 **Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also, like I had mentioned before, about the new book. I will be writing another one, without any connection to this fanfic. But I do want to know if you'd like to see a mini-fic pertaining to Annie's adult life? It wouldn't be so many chapters, probably around ten. Tell me what you guys think in the reviews!**

 **Thank's,**

 **Sam**


	20. Chapter 19

Remember how I had said 'coping' was a strong word to use for my recovery? Well, I wasn't wrong. I was in this strange middle, where one day I could be talking about him in high spirits, and then the next I could be sobbing the moment I lied eyes on his old desk. Or saw his face. Or even thought of him. Today, was one of those days. I sat in my shower, tears streaming down my cheeks, eyes staring down at my feet. A razor blade in my left hand. I stared at my wrists. At my thighs. Everywhere I had dared to put the razor. But I refused to look at my stomach. My stomach is the first place I ever cut, and every time I stare at it, all I see is Nick. All I can see are his eyes staring at mine, a sad look in his face. All I can remember is his voice telling me not to hurt myself again. I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember my only father looking at me. I don't want to remember him at all. Some days, all I can wish is that he never existed, so I never had to go through the pain of losing him. Because I miss him so much. I miss the way he hugged me, the way he stayed with me when I was scared or sick. The way Amanda and him sandwiched beside me whenever I had self harm thoughts. I miss him.

My thoughts were cut short by the door opening. "Knock knock. Just brushing my teeth." Eve said.

I bit my bottom lip. Eve was sleeping over at my house today, and today was the first day I could get my hands on a razor, because hers was sitting on her bag. Staring at me. Taunting me to pick it up and to slash myself until I could finally be with Nick again.

"You know, I have this weird thing on my stomach." Eve mentioned. "It's like, a birth mark, but I've never seen it before."

Why, of all times, would she mention her stomach? I didn't answer. I gripped the blade in my hands tighter, willing myself not to look at my own. Not to remember.

"Ever had that before?" She said.

I again, didn't answer.

"Annie?"

And then, I looked.

Memories, of him holding my hands, giving me hope that all would be okay. That I would be okay one day, even if he wasn't there. Memories of him being my dad. Memories of him. I dropped the blade, it clanked to the floor.

"Annie?" Her voice laced with worry. "If you don't answer me, I am going to open the curtain."

"I'm fine." I said. "Sorry, totally spaced out."

"What was that sound?" She asked, her voice regaining some sense of normal.

"Oh I just dropped my bracelet. Nothing at all." I turned the water off and grabbed the towel from the back of the toilet seat.

"Okay." She mumbled. "Well I'm gonna brush my teeth now."

"Kay." I replied.

Once I heard the vibration coming from the brush, I calmed down. Knowing that she was calm, eased me. I don't want to be sad every time I remember my father. I don't want to cut. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. Nick didn't want that, so why should I? Why should I hurt him any more than I did when he was here?

I picked up the razor from the tub and I threw it in the trashcan. Never again, will I put a blade to my skin.

* * *

That night, me and Eve lied in my bed. Her arm wrapped around my stomach. Her face pressed to my neck.

"So, that weird thing on my stomach?"

"Yeah?"

"It's gone." She said, surprised. "Totally just vanished. I must have been seeing things."

My eyes wandered up to the ceiling. I smiled. 'Thanks, dad.' I thought.

"Isn't it weird?" She asked.

"Very. Almost like a miracle." I mumbled.

"Well I wouldn't say a mircale." She laughed. "As, I did imply that I'm going crazy."

I laughed too. "I know."

"You okay?" She asked. "You seem a bit funny today."

I turned over, our noses pressing together. "Oh yeah. I'm great. Better than great."

"Why is that?"

"Because you're here." I whispered.

She smiled, pressing her lips to mine.

I grinned in between kisses and pulled away. "Be careful here. Amanda's next door."

She rolled her eyes. "You ruined the moment."

"That's my middle name." I giggled.

She wrapped her arms around me again, and pulled me into her embrace. "I love you more than the world."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. I could feel her blond locks caress my skin. "Yeah."

"Me too, Eve. Me too."

She traced her finger against my back, making squiggly lines, circles. "I want to marry you one day. And I know I sound young and lustful, but really, Annie. I do."

"You don't sound like either of those things." I mumbled against her neck. "I want to marry you one day too."

"So one day, it shall be."

"It shall be."

 **So. This is the end. It's been a very long journey, but a fun one. Expect an epilogue some time soon, and the Mini-Fic that's coming! I'm so grateful for all of you who have supported me throughout this fanfic, it was a great ride. Hope to see you on the next one!**

 **For the last time, on Broken Voices,**

 **thanks,**

 **Sam.**


	21. Epilogue

*15 years later*

If I thought my life was amazing when I was a teenager, I was wrong. Because now, at the age of 30, my life was the best it could ever be. I have an amazing wife, three beautiful children, and a brownstone in the center of Manhattan next to my sisters apartment building. My wife? Eve. She never left me, surprisingly enough. I have a ten year old boy, Nicholos Rollins, a six year old girl, Esme Rollins, and a four year old girl, Rain Rollins.

Speaking of Amanda, her and Carisi were happily married with two children. Twins. Anastasia Rollins, and Dominick Sonny The Third. She said she named them after the two most important people in her life.

Here is a sneak peak of my life.

"Mom!" One of my children yelled, extending the 'O'.

Me and Eve looked towards each other, both tired, both not wanting to get up.

"What?" We both answered.

"No, other mom!" The same voice yelled.

"We really need to make sure they keep on using mom and mommy instead of just calling us both mom." Eve yawned.

I stood up in bed. "We tried. They refuse."

"Except, Rain." Eve said pointedly.

I nodded, grabbing at my robe that hung on the back of our door.

"Mom!" They shrieked.

"Who is screaming?" I came out of the room, running down the stairs.

It happened to be Esme, standing on the counter.

"What are you doing?" I panicked, running into the kitchen to pull the girl from the granite.

"I couldn't reach the plates." She groaned. "I wanted to make you breakfast, but then I got stuck up there."

I sighed, setting her on both feet on the tiled floor. I palmed both her cheeks and gave her a kiss. "Thank you for trying to make me and mommy breakfast, sweets. But that's my job. Okay?"

"Okay." She pouted.

"Where are your siblings? They're going to be late to school." I said.

"Nick just got out of the shower, so he's getting changed, and Rainy is also trying to get changed." My daughter replied, running off to the kitchen table so I could feed her whatever it was I was going to make.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Rain doesn't ever dress herself, because when I allow her to she comes out in a pajama shirt with her school uniform over it.

Walking up the stairs, I looked up. Rain's door was the first at the top of the stairs, so I walked in to find her exactly how I expected. Her monkey long sleeved shirt and her red jumper over top.

"Sweetie. Where's your white polo?" I asked, hands on hips.

She shrugged. That's when I noticed her hair was a mess.

"Let's get you dressed." I smiled.

"But I can't find the shirt." She said, her lisp being heard very clearly.

Looking under her bed, I saw a few toys, a sock, and oh look at that. The white polo shirt her uniform required.

I held it up in victory. "That's because you stuffed it under your bed."

She giggled.

"Take off your jumper." I said, putting the shirt inside in.

She did, and I helped her get dressed.

"Mom, can you do my hair in a french braid?" She looked up to me, her blue eyes twinkling.

I loved her blue eyes. Two of our children were biologically mine, but Rain was biologically Eve's. She inherited my wifes blond hair and blue eyes, while my children inherited my green and brown hair.

"Of course I can." I replied, getting a pair of white tights from one of the drawers in her dresser.

"Ma." Nick said, standing by the doorway of Rain's room. "When are we leaving for school? I don't want to be late."

"Well, my handsome man." I walked over to him, fixing his tie. He slapped my away. "We'll leave as soon as your sister is dressed."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Fine."

I kissed his cheek, in which he also slapped me away. Then, he walked down the stairs.

I sighed. My baby boy was becoming a teenager, and it wasn't okay.

When I was finished with Rain, we ran down the stairs. Eve had made the kids lunches the day before, so she packed all of them up in their backpacks and had two of three of the kids ready.

"You're amazing." I sighed, giving Eve a kiss.

She smiled, kissing me back. "I know. I'll make sure they get on the bus, you go ahead and get dressed for work."

"Thanks, babe." I walked back into our bedroom, pulling out a blue blouse and a pair of black jeans along with my pink sneakers. Unlocking my safe, I pulled out my shield and gun and put both in my belt.

I stuck my hair in a bun and walked out of the room, Eve was inside once again preparing a bowl of cereal. Her blond hair messy from sleep, stray strands hung in her face. Her lips were pursed. She was beautiful. She always was, though.

"Do you want breakfast?" She asked, eyes making contact with my own.

I shook my head. "I'll get something from Starbucks."

"Okay." She smiled. "You'll pick up the kids after school, right?"

"Right." I nodded, picking up my purse and keys from the hook behind the door.

"Okay. I'll probably be on a run, but when I come home we could call the sitter so we can go grocery shopping. We're out of the basics again." She said.

I smiled, Eve always took care of the house when I couldn't. She really is a super mom. "Sounds good, Evie. I'll see you soon."

"Bye." She waved.

I walked out of the house, the summer breeze hitting me softly. I walked to the black sedan I called my own, and drove the way to the precinct. I did happen to work at SVU and nothing big had changed. Amanda had put in her papers so she could stay home with the twins, but Fin was now the seargant, Carisi was still a detective, Liv was still the Loo. The only major difference was that I worked there now.

After making a pit stop for a bagel and coffee, I got to the precinct.

Walking in, the first person I saw was my brother-in-law. "Hey Carisi, how's my sister?"

"She's fine." He smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm mighty fine." I replied.

"How are you Carisi? Oh I'm okay, just a little tired." He joked.

I rolled my eyes. "What do we have?"

"What we have," Olivia joined in, "is a case."

"Okay. What is it?" My eyebrows raised expectently.

She threw a file at me frisbee style. I flinched but caught it in both hands.

"Child molestation case. Teacher at a middle school, sixth grade girl came home with blood in her underwear. The mother thought maybe she got her period, but once asked about it she started sobbing. She got a tad worried." Olivia replied.

"Right, a tad." I mumbled, looking down at the childs file.

"She called us, the kid is in the room but she's refusing to talk."

I scratched my forehead. "You want me to give it a shot?"

"Go ahead, you're our last hope." She responded, before walking back to the one way mirror to watch.

I took a deep breath. "What a great way to start the day, am I right Carisi?"

"So right." He replied, a mouth full of food.

I sighed. Some things will never change.

When I got home after picking up the kids, I went into my room and sobbed for a good ten minutes before my door opened up to reveal Eve standing there. Hair sticking to her sweaty face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She walked to my side, wrapped her arms around my shaking person.

"I hate this world, so much." I sobbed into her neck. "A little girl shot herself in front of me today, with my own gun. She was being raped, and no one helped her. No one could help her."

She rubbed my back soothingly. "Okay, it's okay. I know how awful that must have been for you."

"She made the worst mistake of her life." I cried. "No one should want to kill themselves. No one."

Eve took my face in her hands and she caressed my cheek. "I know. You know first hand about that."

I touched my stomach wear my scar lied. I bit my bottom lip. "I had him. I had a dad that loved me, and this girl didn't. She just didn't."

She kissed my cheek, wiping away my tears. "But our babies have two parents that love them so much. They're safe. They're okay. They don't have those feelings."

I nodded. My babies were practically perfect.

"I love you, Eve."

"I love you too, Annie."


	22. AN Bringing Broken Voices back!

Okay, everyone keeps asking me to bring back Broken Voices and I'm totally willing to. But how should I do it. Do you want me to continue on with the story as is, do you want me to make one shots of flashbacks from Annie's childhood? What should I do? I'll make a tally, and write up the most wanted suggestions and I'll do the one with the most votes. So tell me in the reviews.

Thanks,

Sam. 


End file.
